Me [35/M] with my ex-girlfriend [29/F] 1.3 years, broke up over something really dumb, and we both agree... yet it was still a thing.

So we broke up about a week ago, and this was a "last straw" according to her. I'm guessing the other straws occurred when I questioned her before doing only a few of many things she asked of me now and then, her assuming that I don't like doing things for her, not re-buying things for her when she says something I bought her broke, claiming that I don't treat her well, and mostly - our status of our lives not being in sync. I care a lot about her, and I do a lot for her. I do more for her than she does for me, but I don't ask anything of her, and she see's that as a problem too for some reason. I do love her and show it often.

On my side of things, she (white) lies often, is incredibly insecure and projected it onto me with random passive aggressive comments telling me that I don't care, verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, self-destructive, holds grudges forever, broke up with me a few times before, materialistic, not always respecting my feelings, and has anger management issues. She even said things like her brother and best friend would "be happy" if I wasn't with her anymore, but they say they think I'm a great person. I've never done anything intentionally mean to her, I loved her despite all this and wanted to get her help. She's been the only person I've really hung out with in 2 years.

But anyway for this I guess I need to explain my situation. I've been having to live with my parents for awhile because it's been hard finding a new graphic design job, and I'm trying to get my career started, it's important to me. Right now I'm in a sub contract while applying for new things every day. The problem with that though, is that it's not easy or wise to choose a place to move when you don't know where you'll be working. Right now I'm living 5 minutes away from work... so moving away now would mean moving farther away from work and not knowing what direction the next job will be in, which is an issue. My current job doesn't have solid hours and anything can happen because it's under sub contract, so loosing that while having moved would be pretty bad. So, it's been that way since we've been together, and I don't like that any more than she does. She later offered me to move in with her, but... she knows I've never had true freedom on my own, and I said I'd like to at least live on my own for 6 months in a sublet when I get a chance. I've still played with the idea of moving in with her, but with the way things had been getting worse in the last half year... I've been hesitant on trying it. She told me "worst case senario, is that I'd just kick you out", that didn't make me feel any better about it.

Backtracking, a few months ago we went to a garage sale, and I was looking at everything as potential future apartment furniture. I found a unique white shelf that was exactly the style that I was going for, and it was only $5. I was excited about it, and ended up leaving it at my girlfriend's house and she was cool with it. 2 months later, she notices that her cat really loves it and is usually sleeping on top of it. She asked if she could have it, and I said it could stay here but when I move out I'd like to take it with. This really upset her. She said it's not like she really wants it, her cat likes it and therefore she wants it there. She even offered to buy it for twice of what I paid for, and I declined.... I bought it because I wanted it for my place later on. This outburst really confused the hell out of me. 2 days earlier she sent me a long letter about how she feels about everything. I read it and responded. When she tried to read the first paragraph I wrote explaining how I felt about the furniture, she started yelling and moving the furniture to the stairs to be taking out the door immediately, then started throwing something else I got her bak in my bag. I decided to just get the hell out of there. This was it... this was stupid... I can't handle this. We both thought it was a dumb thing to break up over, but do you think she was right to feel that way in any way? I'm baffeled as hell.

It was clear that the big reason was about being at different points in our life... but still this just amazes me that this was considered a straw at all. At least now I'll have more free time for self improvement.

tl;dr: We both agree that this is a dumb thing to break up over, but who do you think was in the right?