A Message from Rabbbi Zvi Gluck Head of Amudim: When is a L'chaim Not a Cause for Celebration?

Have you ever stopped to think about what it is like to be a Jewish alcoholic?

Everywhere you go, you are surrounded by temptation. Go to shul on Shabbos, there is a kiddush, and it seems as if practically everyone around you is having a l'chaim or two or six. You can try to distract yourself so you aren't thinking about just how badly you want to feel that smooth shot sliding down your throat like liquid velvet and soothing your frazzled nerves, but it doesn't always work too well. At every wedding, every bris, there is wine. There is kiddush every Shabbos, havdala every week, and let's not even discuss Purim and Pesach. And yes, you can use grape juice, but in your head, you hear that bottle of wine or schnapps seductively calling your name.

That was the life that Mordechai* was living. He had been struggling with alcoholism for years, and the strain of trying to conquer his addiction had taken its toll. His marriage was falling apart from the constant stress, he was suffering from depression, and he was a hair's breath away from being fired from his job. His children? His children didn't even remember the old Mordechai, the happy-go-lucky guy who always had a kind word for everyone. The only father they knew was one whose life was slowly but surely unraveling at the seams.

Ironically enough, the turning point for Mordechai came at a wedding. Sitting at the chosson's tisch, he found himself just inches away from a full bottle of 18 year- old Glenlivet, his favorite drink. As much as Mordechai tried to focus on the simcha and his conversation with the friend sitting next to him, all he could think about was that beautiful bottle of amber sweetness, ready to work its magic on his troubled soul. Knowing that if he stayed any longer he would find himself in trouble, Mordechai got up and left the wedding, roaming the streets aimlessly in an effort to shut out the voices in his head that were begging for just one shot. And then another. And then another.

Finding himself standing in front of a local pizza store, Mordechai went inside for a cup of coffee, picking up one of the free newspapers that were piled up near the entrance. Turning the pages as he sipped his coffee, he saw an ad for an Amudim awareness event, and after debating with himself for what seemed like an eternity, Mordechai placed the phone call that would forever alter the course of his life.

Over time, Mordechai's case worker was able to guide him to an outpatient program, and he also joined Alcoholics Anonymous, where he met others who were struggling as he was. The case worker also got Mordechai's wife into therapy, and slowly but surely, things are starting to turn in a more positive direction. Today, Mordechai celebrated the three month anniversary of his sobriety, and for the first time in years, he sees reason to be optimistic about life.

Going to a kiddush is still a challenge for Mordechai, but one that he is ready to face, head on.

• Names and certain details changed