Separation Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Depression

I got the golden ticket of bullshit. Anxiety and depression. And supposedly bipolar disorder but I don't really feel the high... I feel more low than anything. My feelings of self loathing, regret, guilt. Over almost everything I say or do. It's unbearable. And I get so dependent on some other living beings... like how my dad and I piggy backed off each other's anxiety, depression, and later agoraphobia. When he died... I felt half of myself leave. My anxiety stemmed from his health issues including being his caregiver for years... in my early 20s. I shouldn't have been the one. Because now o have so many residual issues from it.. as if I didn't have enough. He's been gone for 18 months now. If my husband wasn't around.. I would've gone catatonic. I don't think I would've lived a month past his date of death .. and then I lost my number one man. My cat. It may sound stupid but I got him 12 years ago when I was a teen. He was with me for everything including my move 5 states away.. and he was really my therapy cat. And he got sick so fast.. it happened in days. And sadly I had to help him over the rainbow ridge this year. Two days before my birthday.

My separation anxiety was horrible... when he wasn't home, and his body was at the vets. I panicked at least 5 times a day. Has anyone had those separation issues? Or just sat there and repeated 'I'm panicking' over and over? Any physical side effects? I have lactose intolerance so my GI tract was already a pathetic thing. Now it's almost every day. I clench my jaw. I grind my teeth. My teeth break.

I feel like I have so many issues at once and just need to hear something good. Do others have stacking issues like this? Can I just hide in my bed? Is that an option?