Really losing hope..

Hi, 22/F. this is my first time posting in this sub Reddit. I have emetophobia and agoraphobia. I've been having a lot of trouble lately.

I am SO afraid of spontaneously throwing up in public or around other people, that when I'm in those situations, I can't stop thinking about myself feeling nauseous. As soon as that thought enters my mind, my legs feel strange, my arms feel strange, my stomach sort of drops and my mouth feels the same way it feels when you're about to vomit. I then have to immediately exit the situation to avoid dry heaving. It gets that bad. All from worrying about throwing up or becoming nauseous. It's stopped me from going any further than 10 minutes from home, I missed my grandpa's funeral and my sister's wedding.

How am I ever going to conquer my agoraphobia through exposure therapy if I can't even go into public without almost being ill, which is the root of my agoraphobia?

This is torture. I don't know what else to do. I can't go to the doctor or to therapy because being in public triggers the intense nausea. I don't want to puke all over the floor in front of people, or at all. I literally have no more choices.

People have told me, "you won't get sick from this, it's all in your mind" but then of course I've found people even on this subreddit who deal with "psychogenic vomiting" aka vomiting because you can't stop thinking about it!

Deep breathing exercises do not work when I get in this state. I can't get a script for anxiety medication because I can't go in public without almost throwing up. I can't get therapy for the same reason.

I can't even drive with someone else in the car with me, as I'm so afraid to be sick near people. When I'm in that state, which comes on EXTREMELY QUICKLY without warning, all rational thought goes out the window. This is why I'm afraid to be around people.

Someone please help me. I don't know what to do anymore. I need some rationality in my life.