last time, I said it was the last time

smoker for 8 years now. started in high school and early on it caused tremendous problems. I knew it was bad for me, tried to quit back then but always ended up being deepy intertwined social groups in high school.

now, attending university, living on my own in a different city. smoking now is something I plan as a preoccupation. "I can just get stoned and play video games" I've told myself thousands of times to avoid being utterly bored in solitude.

or it would be rationalizing to myself that if I plan to get stoned later, it will feel good. when, more often than not, it actually feels worse and I regrett my decision and question myself, only at that moment, "why the fuck am I still smoking".

3 weeks ago on a Thursday I had a dentist appointment and they said I needed a lot of work done. I knew(think) this was somehow correlated to my smoking, since there was considerable damage caused by an acidic ph level and also because every time I smoke, I feel pressure in my gums.

so for the following week, I quit it was great I felt great , I felt clear , calm, settled I had very vivid dreams I also took naps more often during the day as an alternative to a preoccupation of being stoned I read this sub a lot, it was relieving to now others were going through the same trials and tribulations I felt like I was never gonna smoke again

but there was a stressor. the next Thursday, a week after I had "quit" , I wrote a midterm and was stressed about it enough to justify smoking again and I did. fuck. and I have been back to my fucking stoned self for the last 2 weeks

so today's the day (again lol). I've tossed my weed and papers and am hoping to never look back again

just wanted to say s/o to this sub and it's ppl. never knew experiences in communities as such could make such a difference

any tips for mindfulness of stressors and when to be more aware of when I begin trying to rationalize smoking to myself ?

also can smoking cause serious dental issues ? lol

thx