I'm so sick of the loneliness.

I've done nothing but watch as all my friends and family and everyone within eyesight is running around and finding love in relationships and friendships for my entire life. Throughout elementary and high school I was always waiting for that time to click for me like it did in the movies.

Goes without saying life is not a movie and you have to go out and do it yourself. Now I sit here almost 20 never experiencing what it's like to feel that connection with someone, what some may argue is the purpose of life. Although I do have a couple close friends that doesn't change the fact I do nothing but think about the possibility of me never experiencing love from someone that's not biologically designed too. Everytime I have caught a second wind I try to start seeing if I can start something and everytime I do within two weeks it's dead in the water cause I'm just not an interesting enough person to keep someone else wanting to stay around. Please don't think I'm trying to say I'm entitled to a relationship or shit like that to cause it's nothing remotely like that. I just can't take the loneliness anymore. I've cried more the last 2 weeks than my entire life and it is becoming actually crippling. If this is what a life of loneliness feels like there is no way I can push on much more.