I'm exhausted

I have been over exerting myself and have been keeping myself so busy and out of the house so that I wouldn't binge on anything at all. I am turning into this really obsessive person and I can't stop. I am honestly happy that I am back in control but I'm so scared of what I am legitimately doing to myself and my future on the long run. I know I am slowly killing my body by going back to this pattern but knowing myself I will probably kill myself anyway if I go out of control because of the deep hatred I have for myself. Oh well.