I dig it. I enjoy the rhythm of your first half, although it seems to lose a litttle punch in the second. The ending comes on abruptly, but I feel that fits with what you're writing. Strong.

I like it. It's simple and I'm sure it means a lot to you, and it took a lot out of you to write it. I appreciate that you shared this and Im glad I read it. Keep writing!

I love the "I've wasted my years / the height of my youth / sunken miles beneath / his final, frightened baritone..." The imagery of burial reminds me of helplessness. The ellipses seem a little cliche to me, but they do add a distinct "sound" to the end of the phrase. 

On the worst day of all,

I was sewn to a spell

sung over the phone.

The man who taught

me all the ways to see,

all the sounds I’ve known.

It was the last time he spoke…

&amp;nbsp;

It silenced me whole.

Every shivering vein,

Every frozen bone.

I’ve wasted my years,

the height of my youth,

sunken miles beneath

his final, frightened baritone…

&amp;nbsp;

Cause I couldn’t pick up

and I didn’t say

*I love you more*…

&amp;nbsp;

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/6nalqi/different_enough_for_now/dkb0x0c/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/6ndrs5/stillness/dkb1hnb/


Loud and Close