My heart can't take this much longer

I have alot of problems. Autism, ADHD, Chronic Depression, Anxiety, Restless Legs, and more.

But it seems like EVERY SINGLE DAY life does something to dig that knife a little further into my heart.

Whether it's failing college, my legs bothering me and making me pace for 6 hours straight, the death of a loved one, or something else. I cant handle this shit.

Right now at this very moment, I'm dealing with the fact that my best friend is in the hospital for mental problems. Her ex, who I am friends with, still loves her and is PISSED at me because my friend in the hospital calls me every day and not him.

I dont have a lover to hug me and tell me its going to be ok because I am ugly as fuck and have so many problems associated with me. Noone wants to be with a guy like me.

I just want to pull that knife out of my heart. I'm sick of the depression. Sick of the panic attacks. Sick of crying myself to sleep alone every night. Sick of everything

And worst of all...I'm so exhausted. So very tired. I'm 22 and I've been dealing with so much shit since I was 11 years old. I cant keep this up much longer. My heart is going to give out soon if this doesn't stop

Someone please help me...