For Honor Story Mode, but...

• 1.1: The trial is no longer by combat and instead takes place in an out of nowhere courtroom. Phoenix Wrarden has to defend his client Hervis Daubeny and prove that he's innocent of murdering Davis. Holden Cross is (still) the judge, Ademar (Cross' second) a stubborn prosecutor. The Warden loses by default because he doesn't have the attorney badge with him (but gets later a cute one from the Blackstone legion as key chain).

• 1.2: During the defense of the last Iron Legion basement, the Warden unlocks his hidden magical Sailor Moon powers, transforming into a short skirted anime girl and using her staff of love to obliterate the raiding Vikings. Stone, who is replaced by Dwayne Johnson in his WWE outfit, supports him with a steel chair.

• 1.3: The path to the Vikings basement is a 90s side-scrolling beat-'em-up game. Something like this, but still in Ashfeld and stuff. Stone, who is replaced by an actual Rock, supports him with motivational words. The stage boss, the Iron Conqueror, is replaced with Isaiah Amir Mustafa, also known as the Old Spice commercial guy. Apollyon kills the remaining Iron Legion soldiers with a rocket launcher. And her helm is slightly asymmetric.

• 1.4: Holden Cross is part of a FFVII party together with the Warden, Stone, an injured Captain who dies first and Barret. The rest is pretty much the same.

• 1.5: Mercy is Solid Snake, except for her ass, that is still Mercys ass, but the one from Overwatch instead. The Vikings have weapon-gun-hybrids, but will never use the gun part. There are three levers instead of two, one of them being the wrong lever. Solid Mercy will escape via male attack helicopter instead of sliding down a rope. The destruction of the Viking facility follows a delayed Michael Bay explosion. Holden Cross encourages her actions too.

• 1.6: The final Viking fortress is a Pokémon gym. The Warden is a Pokémon master and his trusted partner is Holden Cross (Steel/Fighting). His moves are Roar, Counter, Guillotine and Iron Tail. The Ram, which has a big Google Chrome sticker on it, is part of a shitty puzzle of this gym. The burning homes aren't. Gudmundr is fat instead of muscled and is the Gym leader. He has two ice Pokémons. The other four ones are Mightyenas.

• 2.1: Ragnar is a bank owner, but only owns food and Daubeny Dollars. The Vikings eat both. The Raider and his allies are the bank robbering gang from Payday 2. The Heist is a success, but Ragnar was able to escape. The chase is still the same, but horses and axes are swapped for the rest of the chapter. Imagine Lawbringer pony spam and 2D cardboard horses as axes.

• 2.2: EVERYONE SPAMS THE RAIDER HUMP EMOTE. The High Fort is a shitty version of the Water Temple from any The Legend of Zelda game. After the Raider found Siv, both enter the giant mechs to fight each other in a epic duel. The Raider commands Gipsy Danger. Siv commands a Tone from Titanfall 2. Stigandr has been replaced by a bot. BeardNoMore, more precisely.

• 2.3: With the clans reunited, the Vikings started creating a Battle Droid army and attack the Ashfeld Wookies on the Shipyard. The ships there are from the Star Wars universe too, but still wooden. StigandrNoMore says every line twice and gets disconnected while saying "by Odins beard". All weapons are pool noodles.

• 2.4: The whole oversea raid is replaced by shitty internet flashgames. The seafaring is a Line Rider course. The battle part until the gate is opened is held up in a Territory War battle. The battle until the Kensei fight is a Tower Defense game of your choice. The Kensei fight itself is not a shitty flashgame, but a Guitar Hero battle. Song is a metal cover of I'm Han Solo.

• 2.5: The map is mirrored because screw you. The whole chapter is TellTale themed and the Valkyrie Runa has to make the right descisions to win the conversations with the Samurai. The Samurai still speak japanese and she still doesn't understand a word. The only difference makes the last Shugoki on the top of the now two Tower ruins, guarding the Andriod tablets with updated Google Maps. The fight between Runa and him resolves via Super Smash Bros fighting style. Runa has Links moveset. The Shugoki has Captain Falcons moveset. Stone, who is replaced by Corde714, supports him by making rude gestures to everyone (and gets knifed during the process).

• 2.6: The Sanctuary Bridge is a Bomberman stage and the Raider has access to the bomb feats from the multiplayer. And the ability to kick hump the placed bombs. Runa and Helvar (Berserker) are high the whole fight. StigandrNoMore is still disconnected due to the 10 days penalty. The fight between the Raider and General Tozen is held up by a Let's Dance like Dance Battle. The backgrounds dancers are female, emote spamming Raiders and Orochis. The line "You are a Raider, legendary!" is moved to 3.6.

• 3.1: This. Completely.

• 3.2: The Daimyo fight for their position via illegal car racing à la Need for Speed. Apollyon is the hot woman giving the countdown to the race. The cars are respectively to the Daimyo characters. Kensei Ayu drives a sportscar of your choice. Kensei Ranja drives any good looking car. Kensei Dojuka drives a Smart and goes for leaving the track instead of winning it (he can't). Shugoki Kizan drives a Truck.

• 3.3: The Orochi arrives at the crash accident to check for the dead Shugoki and ask him where Ayu is. After pointing in the right direction, he returns as a Zombie, as are all killed Samurai and Vikings in the Myre. The whole chapter becomes Left 4 Dead 2 themed, but the Vikings still keep their pool noodles. Despite the fact that there are no ledges in the Myre, the allied Shugoki Okuma gets ledged and dies three times. The final scene is the same, but the Raider keeps humping, escaping with the Scavenge Crates from the last round of the Faction War.

• 3.4: After arriving at the palace, The Orochi and his gang have to defeat Seijuro, now armed with Frieza's army from Dragonball Z. The Orochi accompliches it by turning Revenge mode Super Saiyan and defeating the enemies one after another. Five minutes until the planet explodes, by the way. The elephant isn't there but during the naxt Warrior's Den stream, pay attention to the small table because there will be a small drawing of this very elephant. The duel between the Orochi and Seijuro is hold by a children's card game called Yu-Gi-Oh!. The Orochi's deck is built around Jerry Bean Man while his opponents main card is Great Shogun Shien. The duel ends by the Orochi summoning Exodia. Then everyone swaps their gender.

• 3.5: The whole chapter is a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure episode: Orochi and the gang finally arrived in Ashfeld, a state known for it's strict but stable managment. Once a great empire, the denizens are now organized under warlords and hired men. Despite their heavy resiliance in both structures and warriors, the Orochi managed to cross their line, now ready to end what Apollio Brando started. He faces the new formed Iron Legion (now a bunch of trashy teenagers) and the duel between the Orochi and the Warden will be set via LAW PLATINUM and SILVER SHINOBI. [[[[TO BE CONTINUED]]>>

• 3.6: The strike on the purple colored Blackstone Fortress is part of a music video of a Linkin Park song. The whole structure is divided in four 90° parts like a pizza. North is burning, east is fought as battlefield, south is also a battlefield but it's a Minecraft chunk, west is tuna. You are a Raider, legendary! The Orochi is now left-handed, the opposing knights are halve their body size, but their weapons are double their size with the exception of the Lawbringers; their polaxes are all sizes because versatility mk-II. There are no feats to pick up - only speed powerups; picking one plays a Sonic the Hedgehog theme of your choice. Shugoki Okuma still fulfils his role as gate opener, but gets ledged 3.14 times during the process while revealing a bunch of data for Damien to collect. Shortly before approaching Apollyon, the Orochi gets an invite from Stone (the real Stone, but with a bigger flail) to join the party in Dominion. Apollyon, refusing to believe that the Orochi isn't a literal wolf, fights him by Kart Racing around the Shard. Apollyon is always ahead because the Orochi lacks openers to get to the first place, but a random Blue Shell, thrown by our one true god emperor Hervis Daubeny, sealed her fate. Apollyon starts her speech, but disconnects after throwing her red light saber because the are not enough players in the lobby. Both Knight faction and Samurai faction, facing each other, are replaced by emote and kick spamming Centurions and Shinobis. The assailing vikings have gun-pool noodle hybrids, but never use their head.

• Epiologue: Holden Cross wakes up. His polaxe, lying next to him in the bed, asks if he had a bad dream. Before he had the time to answer the question, the five minutes from chapter 3.4 ended and the planet explodes. Then StigandrNoMore connects, but dies in space.

#DISCUSS.