[Vent] I'll be taking my dog to the vet later today to put him down. I'm doing what I can to distract myself until it's time to go.

We're in bed right now and he's laying next to me. We've had him for three years and I've been with him for the past year. He but my parents and myself countless times and sometimes it's been random, I took him to the behavioral vet and they told me he could have anxiety and/or PTSD but we don't know the reason since he wasn't with us the first months and we didn't know the parents.

He was on meds for 2 months but it would get him shaky, while he didn't bite as much he was still aggressive. He's protective of me and doesn't let anyone in my room but he's snapped at me if I was next to him while he was growling to someone else outside my room.

I feel like I'm failing him, but money is such a huge factor and no one in my family will help me pay for meds or vet. I feel like deep down I'm just getting rid of him because I can't take care of him anymore. He's such a great dog 95% of the time but the other 5% he's so unpredictable and those are the moments that make us fear him when we're hime. I can't take him to parks or restaurants too much because I'm scared he'll try to bite someone, he already bit my 2 year old nephew and snapped at a lady at Petco when she tried to pick up something next to him.

I also try to remember he may be suffering on the inside, and I've seen it so many times. He hides behind the chairs for no reason, stares at objects for some amount at time, moves his head constantly at the air and I can see the anxiety. So I'm also reminding myself I'm also doing this for him, but not too much for my family and me.

I'm probably going to be a mess later today, he's not even my dog, he's my brother's dog but he's barely seen him. I've taken more care of him and provided him with what he needed, but in the end I feel like this is the best decision right now. I don't like to live in fear, but I can understand it can be due to him living in fear of someone or something hurting me or himself.

I just needed to vent before I leave the house, I took him to a nice park yesterday for a few hours so he enjoys it and will be taking him to a park closer to hime in a bit. He still deserves some happiness before he leaves us.