Pointless: Series 1, Episode 1
Ladies and gentlemen, from the newly re-opened studios of MBBC2 comes the game where the best answers are the ones no one knows... it's Pointless!
Yes, folks, this is Pointless, where if someone knows answers other people don't, they can win money! Today's jackpot starts at £1,000 and will increase by £250 if at any time in the game someone gives an answer that is Pointless! Let's meet today's contestants.
At podium 1, we have u/Edmund- .
And at podium 2, we have u/real-friends .
Alright, contestants. As you know, the game is decided on one question, with answers going back and forth until one contestant has hit 2N points. What's N, you may ask? It's the magic number of people who took the survey, providing in 100 seconds the answers that make this game go 'round. Today's N is... 5. So, once a contestant hits 2N points, we will wrap up that cycle of answers, and whoever has less points will be the winner. To decide who goes first, we'll play a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. On my count:
Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT! (they both flash rock) Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT! (they both flash paper) Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT! (they both flash rock) Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT! (/u/real-friends flashes paper; u/Edmund- flashes rock)
u/real-friends , as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you have the choice of who goes first.
RF: I will go first.
AS: Alright! Let's reveal today's question. We gave 5 people 100 seconds to name as many... Parties in MHoC as they could. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Although "party" was not defined, it was generally understood by all parties [pun intended] involved to mean any party or political grouping under whose label a candidate has stood at a general election.) We'll start with real-friends.
RF: The Regionalist party.
ED: Holy.
AS: Let's see if it's right, and if so, how many of our respondents said... Regionalists!
Board: It's right. 5, 4, 3, 2 respondents said Regionalists.
ED: Oh damn.
AS: That makes the score 0-2 in Edmund's favour.
ED: I'm doomed.
AS: Edmund, your answer please.
ED: Communist Refoundation.
RF: Not sure they're a party...
AS: Alright! Let's see if it's right, and if so, how many points it's worth... It's right, according to our judges!
RF: Your judges stink.
AS: It's in the Join a Party thread!
RF: But it's an indy grouping!
AS: They counted in the bonus round of our pilot episode, so they count now. Please be advised. Let's see if the answer is pointless.
Board: The answer is worth 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 point.
AS: So, that did score one point. real-friends, your answer please.
RF: Progress.
ED: That's probably going to be 5 points...
AS: Let's see if it's right and if so what it's worth. Progress is right.
Board: The answer is worth 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 points! It's pointless!
ED: Oh damn. What???
AS: The jackpot now stands at £1,250, and the ball is now in Edmund's court.
ED: The Libertarian party.
real-friends starts to cry tears of laughter here. The audience looks shocked, like Edmund has just committed a grave blunder.
AS: Let's see if it's right, and if so, how many people said it.
Board: It's right, and it's worth 5, 4, 3, 2 points.
ED: Sad.
AS: So the score is now 3-2 in real-friends's favor. Let's have an answer.
RF: United Ireland.
*Cries emerge from the peanut gallery that UI is a 1-member indy grouping. *
AS: The judges will permit that answer. How many points is it worth?
Board: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 points! It is pointless!
real-friends erupts in celebration, and Edmund in laughter.
AS: We'll make the jackpot £1,500.
RF: This is genuinely fun.
AS: Edmund, your answer please.
ED: Save Scotland!
AS: It's right. What's it worth?
Board: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 point.
ED: Sad.
AS: So, the score is 4-2 in real-friends's favour. real-friends, your answer please.
RF: People before Profit.
Upon Edmund's insistence, the answer is permitted.
AS: Let's see what it's worth:
Board: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 points! It's pointless!
AS: Fine, fine, fine. We are now at £1,750. Edmund?
ED: New Unionists.
AS: Is it right?
Board: It's right. And it's worth 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 points! It's pointless!
AS: The jackpot now stands at £2,000. real-friends, an answer please.
RF: Let's go something more modern: Anarcho-primitivists.
ED: Please be five.
AS: I'm just going to circumvent the board, because that answer's also Pointless! The jackpot now stands at £2,250! Edmund?
ED: Mebyon Kernow.
Board: It's right. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 point.
ED: Sad! I'm being eaten away!
AS: The score is Edmund 5, real-friends 2. real-friends?
RF: It's got to be the Equality party from me.
ED: When RF puts bad answers like progress and anprims and gets pointless
AS: Equality is also pointless... The jackpot now stands at £2,500.
real-friends starts to laugh-cry again.
ED: I'm trying to think if there's some splitter party of one of the current ones.
AS: You'll have time for that with this intermission!
-Intermission: MBBC2 broadcasts on http://reddit.com/r/MBBC2 , once a week on Mondays. Their broadcasts are syndicated on MBBC proper at http://reddit.com/r/MBBC . Programming varies, but currently on the schedule is Weakest Link next week, followed by Pointless the week following. If you are interested in being on MBBC2's programmes, please contact u/archiesmith , director of MBBC2. If you are interested in being on MBBC's programming or working for the MBBC, please contact u/twistednuke , director-general. This programme is made possible by the Nub International Group, paying people for doing their jobs since never. For more information, contact u/Padanub .
AS: And we're back. Edmund, do you have an answer?
ED: My answer is Sinn Féin.
AS: Alright. Let's see if it's right and how many points it's worth.
Board: It's right. 5, 4, 3, 2 points.
ED: Sad.
AS: The score is 7-2. real-friends?
RF: British Workers' Party.
Board: It's right. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 point.
ED: Oh my gosh.
RF: Oooooo.
AS: The score is 7-3. Edmund, you need an answer worth 2 points or less to keep the game going.
Edmund starts crying, but not laughing. The crowd starts chanting "Labour! Labour! Labour! Labour!"
ED: This'll be hilarious if Labour is pointless.
AS: Wanna go Labour?
ED: OK sure.
AS: Is it right? /s
Board: It's right, and worth 5, 4, 3, 2 points.
Laughter ensues.
AS: 2 points for Labour. The game continues. real-friends, your answer please.
RF: Taylor Swift party.
ED: Err... is that a party?
RF: David Swiftie ran under it!
AS: Let's see what it's worth.
Board: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 points! It's pointless!
RF: weeeew!
AS: The jackpot now stands at £2,750. Edmund, you need a pointless answer here or the game is over. What are you thinking?
ED: I'm thinking Plaid Werdd.
RF: Isn't that just the Greens?
AS: The judges are checking.
2 minutes later
AS: Judge's ruling is we're counting it as the Green party. Plaid Werdd is a Welsh translation of Green Party, used in Welsh-specific advertising. So, are the Greens pointless?
Board: That answer is worth 5, 4 points.
ED: Alright. I wasn't gonna win this anyway.
AS: It was a pleasure to have you, Edmund.
RF: How can people know Greens but not Labour? Good game, Edmund.
AS: real-friends, you advance to the Bonus Round. We're not simply going to give £2,750 away. That money has to be won. So I'm going to give you your choice of two categories. They are...
- Quit Whining and Be Presidential, or
- Can You Speak in All the Colors of the Wind Songs?
AS: Take your pick.
RF: Let's go with #2.
AS: Alright. The actual category is... Maroon 5 songs. The question is simple: name a song by Maroon 5. You have 3 shots to get a pointless answer. Get a pointless answer, win the jackpot. It's as simple as that.
RF: Okie-dokie.
AS: Take some time to think about your answers, then rank them based on your confidence in them.
RF: I'm ready.
AS: Let's hear 'em.
RF: From most confident to least: She Will be Loved, This Love, and Sugar.
AS: Alright. Let's see if Sugar is pointless:
Board: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 point.
AS: I'm going to go ahead and re-order here. She Will be Loved?
Board: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 point.
AS: Right. So you have This Love left. How are you feeling right now?
RF: Nervous.
AS: Let's see if it will be pointless. For £2,750...
Board: That answer is worth 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... 0 points! The answer is pointless!
AS: £2,750 is yours! Congratulations! Thank you both for participating in today's game. We'll be back in 2 weeks with another episode and 2 new contestants. The jackpot will reset to £1,000, and we will see if two people can give answers that are Pointless! Thank you, and from the studios of MBBC2... good night!
Posted Jul 31, 2017, 3:08 PM UTC