Long Story, Weird Situation

Hey guys, just discovered this place...and as someone who has recently come to terms with his sexuality, this is kind of awesome. Hoping you can weigh in on an ongoing situation I've found myself in over the past THREE (!!!) years.

Just to give you some background, I'm in my early 30s. Very normal, masculine, bro type. I was dating women and screwing around with guys simultaneously up until three years ago, when something changed.

I met a guy online (ugh, I know), and the purpose was a one-time hookup. We were both "straight" with curious tendencies, so we figured at best we'd hook up a couple times and then go our separate ways. Little did we know how hard we'd hit it off. We ended up talking every day for 6-7 months, but within a month of screwing around, we ended that aspect of our relationship.

It was mostly due to him. He is six years younger than me, and he was far deeper in denial about his sexuality than I was, and he was freaked out to his core that he had started to develop feelings for me. So to preserve the friendship, we stopped the sexual part of our relationship.

We continued talking every day for the better part of seven months, until one day he just stopped answering my texts and Snapchats. It was hard for me because he was the first person that I had ever let that deeply into my life after a sexual encounter, and I thought I'd never see him again or get to ask him what happened.

About five months later, out of the blue, he texted me.

He profusely apologized for ghosting, adding that he's just screwed up in the head. We talked on the phone for about three hours that night, and he told me he felt like he had to cut me off to maintain his mental health.

Since then, we've continued to talk regularly - not every day, but more like friends do, checking in every couple weeks, hanging out here and there in a totally platonic way.

Now we are able to more openly discuss the fact that we are gay but not out - which is something we never spoke of at all after we stopped having sex the first time around.

Months ago, we were on the phone, and I asked him on a date, and he told me he wanted to say yes, but he was afraid to do it. When I confessed to liking him and being unsure how to handle it, his response was, "Why do you think I disappeared last year?"

We've hung out twice since May. The first of these times, he asked me if I had "hung out" with anyone else recently, to which I said no. In turn, I asked him if he had "hung out," and he also said no.

Then there was this awkward moment where we looked at each other, like there was something else to say, but we just ignored it.

My gut tells me that he likes me as much as I like him. I want to address it with him and talk about taking baby steps - maybe seeing each other more often without the pressure of "dates" - but I'm not sure how to do it. I just don't want to fuck with him or make him feel like I'm pressuring him to make a move he's not ready for.

Any advice?