An email I got from my mother, along with my response.

This is the email I got from my mother this morning.

"A couple of weeks ago [Sister's Name] came downstairs and asked if she could wear a tank top while mowing the lawn. Your mumbled response was you should be able to do what you want, the church shouldn't tell us what to do.

It got me thinking-

Why do we do what we do?

I have been pondering a lot, why do we do what we do.

Why is it important do dress modestly

Why is it important to use clean language?

Why is it important listen to good music?

Why is it important that we don’t have tattoos and piercings?

Why is it important that we keep the word of wisdom?

Why is it important that we remain sexually pure?

So why do you think that it’s important that we do or do not do these things.

We do these things because we are a covenant keeping people.

We have all entered into a covenant with God when we were baptized. We promised that we would serve those around us and stand as a witness of Jesus Christ

Strength of youth-These are not the church standards, these are the Lord’s standards

Being obedient to the Lords standards brings us the blessing of having the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Heavenly Father wants us to Stand out to the world that we are covenant keeping people, I would bet that those in other faiths that have truly given their heart to God also follow these same standards. Because they like the light and the influence of the spirit that they receive for doing so.

Deuteronomy 14:2

For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth.

Titus 2:14

Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

1 Peter 2:9

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light

If we choose God, we choose to follow his standards-

That is why we do what we do. We want to stand out as covenant keeping people.

Love you,

Have a great week-mom"

And, after chuckling and pouring myself a cup of coffee, this is my response.

"I'm not sure what you want out of me? But you asked, so here goes...

Why is it important do dress modestly?

It's not. Not in the church sense at least. The For Strength of Youth says, "Immodest clothing is any clothing that is tight, sheer, or revealing in any other manner. Young women should avoid short shorts and short skirts, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and clothing that does not cover the shoulders or is low-cut in the front or the back." So what constitutes tight? My sisters wear form fitting clothing. That's against the "rules"... So where do you draw the line? You seem to not care about the tight clothing part. Why do you care about the other parts? What constitutes short shorts?

All the "For Strength of Youth" (which should be renamed "For the Shaming of Youth") modesty section does is provide ambiguous, arbitrary rules that help parents shame and sexualize their already vulnerable teens. Teaching your daughters that showing two inches of shoulder skin, or showing a 6" circle of their back, is somehow immodest, is just a freaking creepy way of sexualizing and shaming them for things that are NOT a bad thing. So yes, I will always tell my sisters to dress in such a way that makes them feel empowered and feminine. I won't push archaic 1950's standards of "wholesome dress".

Why is it important to use clean language?

It's not. Again, the "For the Shaming of Youth" says that "clean and intelligent language is the sign of a bright mind..." I have a few problems with that! First off, I am extremely polite, courteous, and clean with my language at work. It's a professional setting, and I'm a freaking adult, so I have no issues. However, when I'm home or with friends, I'm no longer in a professional setting. The situation no longer requires that I speak in a certain way. So I swear like a sailor.

So what does this say about me? Well, again, the "For the Shaming of Youth" would say that I do not have a "bright mind" because of my language choices. Well, that's a bummer because I'm quite smart in my chosen areas of passion.

Why is it important listen to good music?

I can't even respond to this. The idea that listening to music that says a few swear words, or that mentions sleeping together is somehow damaging to our "souls" and "offends God" is asinine. Here's a heads up, all music these days swears and mentions sex. So, unless you plan on regulating your kids to hymns and other "church-approved" music, then you don't follow this teaching either.

Why is it important that we don’t have tattoos and piercings?

Why did you ask me this? Clearly I'm going to say this one is stupid... But, if you want me to answer, then I will. The reason that we shouldn't have tattoos or piercings is because ol' Gordo Hinckley decided to express his opinion on piercings and tattoos one General Conference a couple decades ago. And since nobody can seem to figure out what constitutes doctrine or policy in the church, people ate that right up, and now it's somehow "bad" to have piercings or tattoos. How the hell a "fair and just" God decides that women can have one pair of piercings but men cannot beats me. It's almost like it was a rule made up by a man because of the societal norms of the time.... Huh, weird.

(The 2015 ruling on children of gay couples was introduced as policy, but recently an apostle said it was now "doctrine". So clearly they don't even know what the heck is going on...)

Why is it important that we keep the word of wisdom?

Again, outdated and asinine doctrine. The Word of Wisdom is nothing more than a set of rules that followed the cultural norms of the mid-1800's. Heck, BYU just came out with a study saying drinking a cup of coffee a day is extremely beneficial. The same has been said about a glass of red wine. But, somehow, loading up on cheesy potatoes, meat, and green jello every family reunion is just fine...

Why is it important that we remain sexually pure?

Not even going to answer. The church's rule of not having sex before marriage is a fantastic way to have couples find out they have no chemistry after they've been sealed for "all eternity". Personally, I live by a code of conduct that says that I should treat every sexual partner with dignity and respect. And to practice safe and wholesome sex. But, unfortunately, that code of conduct says I'm going to hell, because I haven't taken a girl to the temple and participated in a sealing ceremony THAT DOESN'T EVEN MENTION THE WORD "LOVE"!

So, I don't know why you sent me this email. What did you expect from me? Did you expect me to agree that you had a good point and come running back to church? Was it a way to try and get me to feel guilty for enjoying a big glass of coffee while I wrote this?"

After writing the email, I sent her this text.

"I responded to your email. And I responded truthfully without holding too much back. I need you to know that my arguing with you doesn't mean I don't love you. If you ask me about religion, you have to be prepared for my angry diatribe. Again, I love you so very much. I couldn't have gotten a better example of service, compassion, and personal strength in a mother."

Anyway, thoughts? Comments?