He understands my poems better than I do XD

Thanks, made the start to this day a little nicer :)

I just want you to know, Teasingcoma, that your comments have taught me so much about poetry. 

Viewing the stanzas as a unit, the first and last draw some pretty straight forward parallels, you could extend this by personifying the ocean as you do the lightning, and mirroring the 2nd & 3rd stanzas. The structure'd end up as all chiastic, although I'm not 100% certain it'll further the aims of the piece, and I'd rather keep the lyricism over the pained stretch for structural symbolism that haunts my writing.

This is great, thanks very much! Can you elaborate on the chiastic structure? 

STOP WRITING THINGS I WANT TO TATTOO ON MY BODY.  

First two stanzas are really cool, the first being the richer in metaphor. We has this line:  

>No butterfly  

which establishes the dead world this is written in, while conjuring up the flourishing images it is necessarily contrasted to immediately.  

>emerged from the dirt,  

here we have genesis, here we have genesis sterilized

>but we knelt in it—  

O dear lord, this is the best 'invoking sacarlity' I've seen in a long, long time. We're talking since I've read [Trilogy](https://www.amazon.com/Trilogy-New-Directions-Classic-H-D/dp/0811213994) quality. Not much to say, except its pure, direct, and perfect. 

>the black plains  

I'll start by saying this is the weakest stanza in the piece (and still p damn good). This is a damn good enjambment and forces so many images to crowd on top of one another.

>of the sea, an oscillating  

as I'm writing this i'm getting less comfortable calling this the weakest stanza. This enjambmen

It's written some very beautiful words, but when I read your poem, I didn't get an idea of what it's about and i wasn't able to picture any images you conjured. Besides your first three lines, i think it needs a little work. rythm is great though, also language use is great. 

Decreation of a Day