At what point if ever does one exit the bowl?

Tl;dr -- after a year and a half I realized my Sugar habit made my life unmanageable and resolved to make a change.

I had my moment of clarity recently and decided to stop SR's altogether.

I'm early 40's, married, successful and bored. My SB's tended to skew a younger -- 20 being the average age.

The bowl spoiled me in the regard that attractive, much younger women became not only accessible but easily available to me.

That said, no SR ever worked out ideally for me. I had some amazing sexual experiences and some disappointing ones but on balance, I've no complaints about the sex. In fact, via sugar dating, I not only experienced threesomes with two women at once (enjoyment varied) but came to see them as routine.

Where it became problematic was threefold:

Cheating on my wife: I rationalized the living fuck out of my behavior (a flexible marriage is a strong marriage; she somehow knows and tacitly accepts; as long as I treat my wife and SB's like gold, I'm a good person) but could never shake the guilt. I had no good reason to cheat and almost compulsively did anyway. I admit I became entitled with sugaring and took it as a given that attractive young women are available to me any time I want.

Heartache: I'll never understand why people can't seem to wrap their minds around what a middle aged man would want with a young woman beyond sex. Their youth and beauty are a given but I found the young women I dated to be also intelligent, fun, sexually adventurous, liberated, witty, optimistic, sweet (personality-wise) and self assured. There's something to be said about being with a woman whose education is recent vs. who was last in a classroom 10-15 years ago. The downside is that it's hard (for me) not to love the ones I really got close to and want the impossible (polygamy basically, where I get a parallel new long term relationship based on love and that fully resembles a marriage). I've yet to meet an SB who would go for that. My wife sure as hell wouldn't. It was just a stupid exercise in yearning and self-denial.

Money: We SD's all have big wallets to match our oversized appendages and bulging biceps. I get it. We're studs and we wipe our asses with t-bills and bearer bonds. Yep. In the 18 months I sugared, I could've used the accumulated spending to buy a brand new fully loaded BMW Z4 convertible for cash, or I could've taken six vacations to Hawaii flying first class with my family of three and staying at the Four Seasons resort in a suite. I could've put an average 18 year old through a 4 year public university + 2 years of grad school in most US states.

My next steps: I clearly told each SB that our time together is over (to mixed reactions) and permanently deleted my SA account despite still having 3 months left on my premium subscription (I bought in 6 month increments).

I got rid of all of my clandestine burner numbers and email addresses. I deleted all of my SB emails, texts, and contact info.

Most extremely, I bought a new/replacement iphone that I'll never use to access SA, dating apps, burner phone apps or even SLF. The one I'm presently typing on will get erased and subjected to a hammer.

I might join SLAA or seek some other sex addiction counseling. I've seen a therapist but she wasn't of much help. I might find another and see if I can achieve a better result.

The result I want is a less complicated life and a path to happiness that doesn't involve infidelity or seeking the love of other women (who mostly don't give it). I was faithful for over a decade and know this is just my mid-life crisis phase. That said, I need to change before the chickens come home to roost.