I struggle to show emotion.

My life has been me doing the best I can to not anger my nmom. I have to tiptoe around her every day and watch what I say to avoid any tantrums. If she starts a conversation with me it is usually her asking me if she looks good or if I could purchase something for her and I know if I do anything but nod politely she will act up. This has led me to not show any emotion around her or give her any eye contact since I've been very young. If I act like my normal self around others and she is nearby she will mock me and make me feel stupid. She loves to talk to others about me and my life. I think this has contributed to my social anxiety since she refused to let me grow that way, and of course later on has given me hell for not being "normal" around people. This has led me to bury my emotions. It's very difficult for me to talk to people let alone allowing myself to laugh openly or let people know I am upset about something. I'm hoping I can change when I live on my own and limit contact with her while creating healthy relationships with new people. I am very impatient for that day to come.