Fluoxetine (Prozac) for social anxiety & alcohol side effects

If there's somewhere better to post this, please share. New to reddit & want to know if others have dealt with this as well.

I'm currently taking 40mgs of Fluoxetine for Social Anxiety. While I was not "diagnosed" with Depression, it's been prevalent in my life as I was born into a very drama filled & soap opera-esque family. My psychologist stated that he believes my anxiety derives from an overall feeling of unworthiness, so one can assume I do deal with low self esteem at times. With that being said, I have a wonderful relationship with my SO of 4 years but even the best man in the world can't ALWAYS convince my overly-anxious brain that they only have eyes for me...sigh.

Long story short, I went to my friends party the other night. I was having a blast, laughing, dancing around and being very social. I only drink MAYBE once a month but normally can drink 5/6 mixed drinks. Suddenly, someone asked "are you okay?" another "do you need to sit down?" and on came the feelings of embarrassment and shame. I was then "in my head". My brain took me down a path of feeling worthless, feeling embarrassing, feeling like my bf was attracted to another girl at the party (one of my few friends, also one of his friends... she's very cute and bubbly and fun.) I immediately wanted to leave.

Boyfriend and I left and I was SO CLOSE to saying "you think she's cute, don't you." But instead I rambled on about how I think I embarrassed myself because I was "fun-drunk" and people "kept asking if I was okay." Bf said, he doesn't remember it the same way, he thinks I was just a little self conscious because I was being goofy.

I don't remember MUCH of my thoughts while I was laying in bed waiting to fall asleep, but I started to feel really overwhelmed with guilt for assuming my bf was eyeballing someone else, then thought how I have issues and she doesn't so why wouldn't he, then feeling embarrassed for being too drunk, then felt ashamed for showing obvious signs that I wanted to go home / was upset, and on came The thought of "you should just kill yourself, just do it."

Now, I NEVER think this way. Sure, I feel guilt sometimes for showing too much of my emotional side at times but I'm an overall fun and positive person. I quickly snap out of that guilt driven mindset and never actually consider killing myself. I am NOT suicidal. It was as if, while drinking on Fluoxetine, I was actually trying to CONVINCE myself that it was the best option.

Now I know most ADs are very blunt about not drinking, but Fluoxetine is not and also my doctor said I would not have an issue if I drink once a month or less... which I do.

Does anyone else deal with these insane side effects on Fluoxetine? I'm obviously a little bothered because I do have social anxiety and socially drinking is the ONLY time I drink to help me loosen up (only once a month or less, never sick drunk). Obviously the risk is greater than the reward so I'm not going to continue to drink... but does anyone else deal with extreme suicidal thoughts on this AD? Did you later find that 1-2 social drinks was "okay?" Or did you quit altogether?

** less upset about dropping social beverages, more upset that I was at a level of convincing myself suicide was an option over something so minuscule.

Tl;dr suicidal thoughts only when drinking on Fluoxetine. Social drinker only one night a month or less. Dr said my level of social drinking would be fine. How did you combat this issue?