Venue Search: How to not get played?

It's day one of receiving venue responses and I'm already overwhelmed. I feel like we're being taken advantage of with statements like, "If you won't pay $1000 to have your ceremony at our reception venue, we will charge a $500 director fee." Not to mention the ridiculous catering and whatnot charges.

Tips for getting around this? Did you book a venue that includes all the "convenient" add ons?