No I'm not ok

I've been here so many times, I can't think right right now I can't do the shit I normally do my parents think I'm at work but I've actually ditched I've ditched so much in surprised I even have this shitty job still I'd quit if I didn't need the money if I didn't have to support my son I'd probably be dead my SO is mad I'm just parked outside his work and I can't leave thinking I'm gonna do something very bad to myself if I leave I probably won't ever come back. I wish I'd just done it earlier before my son could even remember me I'm not even like his mother anymore I'm constantly working trying to support our family that my mom has really been the one raising him she's even said it I've already pushed away so many good friends I'm already a dissapontment to my family I'll probably be missed but I'll be less of a burden around

I can't take this anymore I want to leave but I don't

I want thing to get better but for the past years it's only gotten worse it's probably gonna get worse

I didn't even call in to my job I'll probably be fired and it's just another issue on top of another issue I just can't do this anymore This has been in the back of my mind for months

Maybe today I'll actually do it