How's your vision?

IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS COMPLETELY POT FREE!

I can't believe it. I'm, like, amazed at myself. The first few days were the hardest, but things are definitely looking up. I got to the point on day 3 that I literally threw a tantrum. I screamed at my boyfriend that "I'd rather die" than deal with this. That maybe I'm just meant to be a pothead. Maybe there's no hope for me and I JUST WANT TO SMOKE RIGHT NOW AND NOTHING ELSE IS GOOD ENOUGH!!! I threw my keys, I threw my sunglasses, I cried like a baby. Instead of getting irritated, which would've been well within his rights, he came over and hugged me. Held me until I stopped crying and told me I could do it. Having a partner in crime has been immensely helpful. I know not everyone has that and I'm so grateful.

So let's see, what's different? YEP, things are already different. I'm waking up at reasonable times. I'm remembering my dreams, though I've had some nightmares. I'm able to work without interruption and I'm much braver than before when it comes to calling new people or going to meetings or whatever comes up. I am feeling a lot of feelings I'd have otherwise smoked away, which can be hard, but it's also somehow satisfying to THINK about things. Phone games, which I was becoming addicted to, are so boring now. I feel sharper and less tired. I mean...so far, so good, really. The only real negative has been that I tried to quit smoking cigarettes at the same time - that didn't pan out. But I'm going to set another quit date and try again really soon. If I can quit smoking bud, I can quit smoking cigarettes. They say that if you need to quit more than one thing, and you are extremely addicted, you should do one at a time so I'm okay with this.

Something strange, though and I wonder if anyone else can relate: I still SEE like I'm high. Does that make sense? Like..I still feel like I'm looking through a haze. Hoping that once all this crap's out of my body, that'll go away. Maybe it's just my normal vision but especially at night, it feels like I am kind of high.

I feel strong. I don't have cravings. Maybe the thought occasionally comes up, but I honestly already feel like I've come so far and I am excited to keep going. Y'ALL, WE CAN DO THIS!