Recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Planning to see a psychiatrist for a more in-depth diagnosis. Am I looking in the wrong places to understand this disorder?

So I have been surfing Reddit as well as the web for information on BPD and treatments and tips for loved ones to deal with my emotions (mainly my boyfriend, who I know has had to deal with a lot of my emotional breakdowns)

I came across Grey Rock, I came across youtube videos and lots of articles and I can't help but feel horrible about myself. Everything I am reading is making Borderlines out to be such awful individuals, emotional vampires, life sucking, Ive even read borderlines being described as predators.

This is awful. How am I supposed to possibly live with a disorder like this if I am some sort of an evil soul sucking vampire to everyone? I know that I can be challenging to deal with sometimes, and thats often why I isolate myself from others and mask my emotions as best as I can. But are we seriously just bad people?

I feel like I cant talk to anyone about my illness without them thinking Im a terrible person to be around. This has totally discouraged me from discussing it with anyone other than my s/o. Are we really that awful? I just don't know how to feel about any of this and i was only just diagnosed a few days ago.

Someone please provide some insight. Is there any hope for this? I am terrified of therapy and now I am terrified to seek support from friends for fear that they won't see me the same if they know I have BPD