About a month ago, I posted on here that I'd fallen in love and wasn't going to let SAD ruin my love for him. Here's what ended up happening :)

I posted about a month ago that I was falling for my friend. I didn't think he felt the same way, tho. Since I posted that, I've tried to commit suicide twice. I was weak, and I didn't believe that I could ever get past my SAD enough to have a relationship with him. Since then, he confessed his love to me which severely shocked me, since I didn't think anyone could ever love me. Today, I accidentally saw him for the first time in about half a year. I was about to have a panic attack outside of the library, and he suddenly showed up :) Unfortunately, my SAD and panic disorder can make me a real bitch sometimes, and I was pretty blank and unresponsive to his words :/ He looked a little hurt, and walked away after realizing I wan't acknowledging him. Something inside me snapped as he was walking away, seeing him so hurt. I haven't hugged anyone in years because of my haphephobia (fear of touch/intimacy), but I called his name and ran over to him. As he turned around, I hugged him as hard as I could. He was really shocked, and ended up tripping because I'd hugged him so hard haha We laughed and said our goodbyes, planning to meet next week :) I don't want to ruin this. No, I WON'T ruin this. Things will never "get better" for me. I know that. I have to MAKE them better, and I will. To all those who are cautious about relationships and insecure about yourself, throw yourself out there. Just do it. Because once you do, it feels fucking amazing :) Stay strong, and thank you for reading this <3 Sorry for rambling lol