I [26 F] was kicked out of party by boyfriend's [25 M] friend [23 F], boyfriend stayed

I have been dating my boyfriend, who I'll refer to as Adam, for over a year now. We have met each other's friends, family, coworkers... you get the idea. When I met Adam's friend, one of his close female friends took an instant disliking to me. I'll refer to her as Julie. Julie was cold to me from the start, just really dismissive and rude. I didn't mind since I know not everyone I meet will like me and they've been friends for years, so I decided to just limit my contact with her and just try to say away from her unless necessary.

Anyways, I did become decent friends with some of Adam's friends and one of them is Julie's roommate. Julie's birthday was coming up (today), and so her roommate was planning a surprise party/get together. Of course Adam was invited, and Julie's roommate also extended an invitation to me, even though Julie hates me, because I'm Adam's girlfriend and I am now friends with some of the people attending. Given that there's a good number attending, roommate thought it shouldn't be a problem since I wouldn't have to interact with Julie much, if at all. She was wrong.

Today was the night of the party. We showed up, and we found Julie to wish her a happy birthday. Her expression when she saw me was not pleasant, and she only looked at Adam. I expected it, and I had only planned to wish her happy birthday and then stay away from her. So I left Adam to talk with her to distance myself from her. But, not long after, Julie came up to me and told me to leave.

I said ok, since it is her birthday and place, so I went to Adam and told him. He already knew, I guess I was talked about in their conversation. He apologized on Julie's behalf and just said he'll see me back at home, instead of offering to go home with me or at the least drive me home. So I got an uber and came home. He's still not home from the party yet. Honestly, I felt annoyed and mad at him for staying at the party, and I don't know what to do.

tl;dr: Julie, Adam's close friend, never liked me. Her roommate invited me to her birthday party, but Julie kicked me out. Adam stayed behind and I took an uber. Am I right to be upset at him?

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When Adam first met Julie, he did have a crush on her and in fact they did date briefly in the beginning of their friendship. But, from how he described their relationship, she didn't treat him like a boyfriend. Essentially she "friendzoned" him. This was a few years ago, and as far as I know, he doesn't like her that way anymore. I think she is more possessive of his attention, but she wouldn't actually date him if given the chance.

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I see what you're saying, and I have been thinking about that possibility. However, a lot of his best friends were at the party. He's been really busy at work so lately he hasn't had the chance to meet and go out with them, so I think he mostly stayed for his friends, instead of Julie particularly. Also there were alcohol at the party, and Adam loves to drink.

That doesn't excuse his actions towards me though. I'm still thinking through this since I hadn't had the chance to talk to him in person yet. And I would rather discuss in person, than over text or phone.

But in my thought process, I may have set a precedence? I never wanted to be the controlling girlfriend telling him who he can and cannot be friends with (especially since he was friends with Julie before me), or telling him not to go out with his friends because I wanted to be with him. He would always give me a heads up, as in tell me about his plans and ask if we had any conflicting plans together so he should reschedule with his friends. Since we see each other so much and he doesn't get much chance seeing his friends since they all work now, I always encourage him to go out with his friends. Sometimes I join them, but only if Julie is not part of the outing, since I'm the outsider intruding into their friend group.

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I apologize. I wasn't that detailed in my OP! Julie luckily didn't make a scene. I think for obvious reasons. She spoke to me in private that she didn't want me at her birthday party. But, people did notice I was leaving and I said good bye to some of the guests as I was heading out. I just made an excuse that I have to get up early for work. Which is true, because my work place starts really early in the morning, so we get to leave earlier in the afternoon. But, they did say they wished I could stay longer and such.

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Thank you. I am starting to see that I shouldn't have been passive about it from the beginning. I had thought that I could deal with the Julie situation by not being around her, but I can see now that all this might have been preventable if early on I told Adam he should stick up for me.I'm going to bring up all these points when I speak with him tonight.

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Thank you, and that's my plan. I'm not a confrontational person, so I never told him that he needs to stick up for me when I'm disrespected, so I think that's why what happened last night happened. I will definitely lay the ground rules of the two bullet points you laid out to him, and give him a chance. And if he does it again, then as hard as it is, I guess I know what to do.