Lost in Love...

Hello guys,

Need your help here, some clarification ! Totally lost/confuse in love...

So 25 years old here, PMO for 8 years, virgin, never had a gf, never had a kiss or a date...

I know that the final goal of Nofap is no about girls but self-improvement. To be honest, i started this journey to have a gf. It did not work but I have noticed lots of changes about me, it is great ! Sport, dance, reading, travel... My longest streaks for the moment is 10 days ! The way is still long but every day, i have the feeling to make improvement :)

However, one thing is missing : no companion in my life. For sure, one long term goal in my life is to find my dream girl and have children. It leads to lots of relapses for me and i am wondering what is wrong with me ?

But how can i fix that ??? I mean i have really no control on that and it drives me crazy ! I mean i cannot wake up one day and say : "Today, I meet the girl of my dream !"

Should I ask out the first attractive girl i found in the supermarket ? Should I wait the girl to do the first step ? Should I use Tinder ?

Lots of people say : "first you should love yourself then you can think about a relationship. Develop, improve yourself and then you will draw girls ". I totally agree that if you are not happy alone, you wont be happy in a couple. It is clear. But what does it mean that i will draw girls ? it does not make sense for me. At some point, i should attempt something, right ? I dont have a gf just like this. How should i know if it is the right one for me ? Should i wait for love at first sight ??

From the other side, other people say: " if you dont nothing, you get nothing in life. Your destiny is in your hand". The approach is more "active" here. But to be honest, i dont like the idea "to force" love. I don't want to be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship like everyone. I never use pick up line... I have as well a romantic mindset that it does not help.

So as you can read, i am totally confused about the topic and i have no idea how to proceed. A few years ago, I felt in love with an amazing girl. Unfortunately, I waited too long before asking her out and then, she found a bf... it was terrible for me ! Lots of regret ! This story + PMO can explain why I am so unsure.

For sure, this years with PMO did not push me to go outside my confort zone.

Please, any advice are welcome. Thanks for reading and stay strong !