I don't know how to keep going

Everything seems pointless I truly am just numb at this point. I just keep waiting for the next thing that will try to destroy me. I'm not enough, I can't be this anymore. I see no way to change things any longer and I know there's a target on my back. I've never had a turn being loved and cared for by anyone, time goes on and everyone wants more and more from me and freak out when I have nothing left to give, I can't change it right now and it's sad to say I'm just waiting on the day that my parents pass so I don't have to keep drowning with them. I have a job but it's clear that won't be for much longer, I am barren, I am alone and no one wants me, I simply have people who need things from me. I'm drowning in it all and I'm so alone.