Amörguth dragon born and orc bro. A tale of two drunks

Be me, level 7 dragonborn barbarian in 5e homebrew campaign. Max con.

Decide to be an alcoholic, tragic backstory...etc.

Anyway, DM sets up drinking contest in next village. Competitors being a giant scarred orc, a selection of dwarves with beards round their ankles and some prissy elf with a sweetheart who loves drunks.

A smorgasbord of dwarven stouts, elvish ales and even some trollish mead is presented to us.

Start with elvish stuff, delicious, a rich hoppy flavour with hints of citrus.

Down a barrel of it.

Elf taps out

Next the dwarven stuff. Pitch black with bits of dirt floating in its foam, the taste clings to my tongue.

Drink all of it.

Even the dwarves are blackout drunk now The orc is keeping up though

We drink our way through 3 barrels of the stout.

Dwarves are long gone by now

At this point me and Barkush eye-gouger are best friends. Arms around each other

He starts singing some shanty about the horde.

Decide to interrupt him to tell him what a great night this has been

Charisma roll

Nat 1

Oh shit.

Takes this as grave insult to Grummsh

Brawl ensues

Orc and I beat each other into bloody pulps

Drunken strength bonuses make this fight deadly.

Rolling to just stay upright

Finally punch orc off the small stage the contest was happening on.

Go full murderhobo on his ass.

Fall asleep next to his bloody face

Wake up with -2 to all rolls for 8 hours Hangover.exe

Search orc corpse, don't even remember why he's here

Find note telling him to report any settlement to his warchief for plunder

Cool, didn't kill orc bro for nothing

Drink glass of trollish mead to offset hangover temporarily

Alcoholism saves lives kids