I [24 M] said to my mom [47 M/F] that my brothers and I can't be friend with her

I am the bigger brother of three and I think that I had psychological abuse by my mother. Since I was a kid my mother had the habit to scream every day, of every year. To yell at me. To curse/damn me if it if I did not do what she asked. I really felt bad every day. Especially during high school, my mom used to cry every day, saying that my brothers and I aren't good kids. And for any reply by us, the first thing of her was to cry, cry and damn us. She also used to control us in a lot of situations.

I hadn't also the opportunity to create many friendships. During the years, all this sort of abuse, if we can call it because I don't know how other families are, had a huge impact on my social life.

After high school, I got a full paid scholarship to study in university in another city. For the first times, I had hard times. Not only for leaving home, my family(because I've always cared about also my mom, and I still care about her), my few friends, but also because I had difficulty in social situations. I was really shy and I had a lot of problems, that influenced my studies(but in the end I managed to succeed in University). But after this first transient, I start to feel much better. Other people were all kind. No one yelling every day. No one telling me that I am the source of her problems. No one telling me that she had to sacrifice everything for me and my brothers(I am pretty sure that my mother sacrificed a lot. But I and my brothers aren't the main source of her problems). I really felt that my heart was lighter.

And every time I come back to home, here it is: my mom yelling and screaming loudly.

With the years I understood that a lot of problems of mine was given by my old environment. And I started immediately to solve them.

I also understood that my mom have really problems. I still don't know why but she has a lot, but little, medical issues. Every year there's something 'new'. She has also some psychological issues I think(as I maybe). She always wants the attention for her. If something is not how she wants, or if I reply to her in a way that doesn't satisfy her, she reply back in a bad way, saying to me bad words. Also when I am in this other new city where I live, she calls me only if she hasn't something to do(I usually know when she actually wants to talk).

In the last year she learnt how to use properly a smartphone, and now she is texting her friends on socials, wp, etc.... I think as another way of escaping her problems.

Returning to the main point, I decided that I can't take anymore this from my mother. I decided to not talk to her or to restrict the communication with her. I am also reluctant to eat what she prepares(but I eat to not create big problems). I decided to do this, to understand better my and her relationship.

Today, from a stupid thing she start replying back to me badly. I said to her that my brother and I can't be friends with her. She said some thing trying again to offend me and then said that she is my mother, that she educated me and without her I wouldn't be who I am now. Then she said some stupid offending stuff.

I said this to her, maybe because I didn't control myself and I wanted to say this. But also because I want her to understand that she can't continue to do so. She has the same way of acting since I was a kid. She thinks that cooking something or buying something to me or my brothers is the solution to be a good mother.

I have to say that sometimes we can have good moments. But these are the exception, not the norm. I don't know if I still love my mom(because in the end she's a good person and loved me). But I know that I still care about her. I still feel that connection with her and catch her feelings(I can't explain, but most of you maybe know). edit: She's not only my blood, but she helped me a lot during my life, especially when I was a kid(also if she then did damages on the other side).

I want to solve those problems, especially because know I've got a great opportunity to work in another country(edit: and she was the only one to know it, having helped me). I still have some weeks with her. I know that these aren't problems with some quick fix. What I know is that I can't change her. I accept her as she is and I can't do no more. But I can change our relationship to the better. In the long run this will repay. What do you suggest? Are you, males especially, friends with your mothers? If yes, how?

tl;dr: How to fix things with mom? My mom always yells and makes me feel bad. I said to her my brothers and I can't be friends if she continues to do so. She felt bad and I also. How to improve the relationship?