Everything blows up: SIL is put on a 72-hour hold

WARNING: Mention of suicide and self-harm within post.

Holy. Shit.

Things have exploded.

I thought there would be more from MIL, but there have only been a few errant phone calls, none of which DH has answered. There have been some super passive aggressive emails and texts from other members of the family on her side, but again, we just ignore them.

SIL, on the other hand... I am more convinced than ever that she probably has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Every few weeks, she would send DH some email, alternating between telling him he’s a piece of shit and “I miss you.”

Then yesterday, she sent a fucking suicide note at 3 in the afternoon:

Well

You don’t care about me
No one cares about me
Might as well just open a couple of veins.
Enjoy your life.

Of course, DH freaked out, and before he really thought it through, he called FIL. DH told him he needed her address and that he was going to send someone to check on her. He wanted FIL to call her. FIL told him she probably just wanted DH to call her (and didn’t seem at all fazed by how fucking manipulative that is), and told DH it was his fault for not calling her on her birthday a few days ago. That DH had made her “very upset,” and he refused to give DH her address (and also did not call her to see what was going on—I swear this man gives ZERO fucks when it comes to his daughter’s safety) . DH hangs up the phone because, fucking of course, FIL isn’t going to be useful, and DH calls me to ask if I can call and set up a wellness check since he is at work (and isn’t in a great emotional state for dealing with this atm). I told him I would take care of it and to set up an emergency session with his therapist.

We didn’t know her home address or her work address (she moved within the last year, and it wasn’t available online), so I scoured the web, and luckily came upon her webpage with an updated resume, and it had her current employer. My sister works at a clinic for suicide prevention, so I called her for help and within 20 minutes a dispatch unit was sent out.

The officer in charge called me and told me SIL denied having threatened suicide and asked me to forward her note. I complied, and they said they would have a mental health professional evaluate her email and also evaluate her in-person.

The mental health professional called me about 4 hours later to ask for more details, and I answered some questions. Nothing really came after that. I had been calling throughout the day to check-in with DH (we are currently away from each other for about a week due to some things that had to be taken care of in relation to the move). He said his therapist told him calling for the wellness check was the right thing to do, but he was still feeling drained from everything. He had been like 90% sure SIL was doing this to manipulate him into talking to her, but part of him was also genuinely afraid she might try something (a 10% chance is still pretty terrifying). I reassured him, comforted him, told him he was doing the right thing; she’s not in a healthy state of mind.

This morning, my piece-of-shit FIL sent him this text.

I am SEETHING. I will post an update in the next few days when I know more. I’m currently trying to find a way to make it back to DH in the next 48 hours; he doesn’t need to be alone through this shit storm.

UPDATE SINCE WRITING: DH seems to be more okay now. He talked with his therapist, and she pointed out to him that she (a therapist), her supervisor (mental health professional who works for a major hospital), Mrs. Waffles (me!), and my sister (works for a suicide prevention clinic) ALL agreed that a wellness check was necessary and the right call to make. She pointed out that his father seems to be in denial about the seriousness of his daughter's instability and is projecting a lot of his own issues onto DH. I've been telling DH this for a while, but sometimes you just have to hear it from someone else. DH seems more stable now, so I'm not jumping on a plane quite yet. I did beg him not to open any messages or emails or answer the phone if it is anyone in his family until he is off work/consider blocking all of them for a week. We will see how it goes; poor guy needs a break from this fucking stress.