Newbie with weird humor

Welp, I have my shiny new DreamStation and I can't wait to get some good sleep. Went to the fitting. Got a cute nasal mask. Played around with the settings. I just can't wait for something to to work and I'm naively optimistic. Of course, my third thought after putting it on for a nap was, "This is sending data to my doctor at all times. What happens if I fap? She'll see that?" This was immediately followed by childish giggles and the thought of, "If I stuck the tube up my butt, I could smell my farts all night."

What's the weirdest thought you folks have have while lashed to the manual breather?