Unexpected Life Benefit of taking control & losing weight

So I felt so unhappy with my weight for years- probably a deep unhappiness since 2013.

If I could JUST BE 10 stone again... if I could just be slim again... if if if'. I was obsessed. It was all about the weight.

But now, Im losing. (I'm a bit scared right now as I'm at the low end of the weight I stuck at for 2014-2016; and am a little nervous about pushing through that to be honest; but I digress).

And I don't feel 'better'; my life hasn't fallen into place in every way like I thought it would. But- here's the thing I'm struggling to articulate- I'm making amends and taking control. As well as overeating, I overspent* for years. I've applied for a loan to consolidate the debts at an affordable repayment amount. Ok; I could have done that 3 years ago and been in a better place but hell, I'm doing it now. I'm doing it now. ( https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/6ahidq/imagei_should_have_done_this_ten_years_ago_but_f/ )

As well as overeating, and lying about it, I lied about my spending* to my partner. I've talked to him. It's going to be ok. As well as overeating, and lying about it, I procrastinated at work and over bills. As well as overeating, and lying about it, I started to self harm in other ways- and lied about it. As well as overeating, and lying about it, I lied about my ability to cope with my parent's addiction- but now, I've started going to AlAnon (I'm the child of an alcoholic).... etc. etc. etc.

Basically in finding this sub; in finding a place I can be honest about my weight problem- I've found the honesty, the 'lets take it one lb at a time', the logic of CICO incredibly grounding and I am (sobs) allowed to be happy- by taking the weight under control and DOING something about it I've freed up my brain to take control over the other areas of my life- I'm allowed to look forward and and I'm allowed to look after myself. Because it wasn't all about my weight after all, I just couldn't see past it.

Thanks for reading!

• I am not exaggerating when I say I spent a lot on junk food.... sighs. I bought a lot of cake.