Can we talk toddler tantrums for a minute?

Our household has a disagreement on how to respond.

My son turns 2 next month, and occasionally flips out if he doesn't get what he wants. He is extremely strong willed. This morning he didn't want breakfast being offered, but he did want the TV on. Daddy said no TV, I back him up even though I disagree. Son is throwing a fit. He often bangs his head against hard surfaces to the point of bruising. I find this behavior very upsetting even though doc says it's a common stage/coping mechanism.

Dad puts him in a large play pen on the carpet to give him a safe place to calm down, and hands him his sippy cup with milk in it. Dad wants to ignore him from that point on.

If it were me, I'd want to stand on the edge of the play pen and wait until son asks to be held or picked up. While he's crying I want to label his emotions, "you feel frustrated and angry right now" "it's okay to cry when you feel frustrated". Eventually, if he comes to me I'd want to read 'calm down little monkey' and get him distracted, holding him as we read books.

My mother in law, who is visiting, thinks we should spray him with a spritzer bottle or turn up some music and have everyone start dancing. Or do something silly to get him laughing/change the mood.

I told hubs I'm not comfortable spraying our son with water while he's crying, that seems humiliating to me. Hubs says he's not comfortable giving the tantrums so much attention. Hubs thinks you set the boundaries for behavior with cause and effect, then let him sort it out. He'll eventually learn to self sooth and control his outbursts.

How do you navigate tantrums?