What should I do about myself?

I'm 18. I feel pathetic. I don't want to be at all self-pitying but my heart feels overwhelmingly sad. my lack of friends or anyone is probably it. I feel like I've failed everything in life. I haven't been attending classes to avoid a 'friend' that hurt me deeply and when I apologise for the things she find undesirable in me or when I feel down she says I'm offending her and she's just difficult to deal with. everything she finds something not at all nice, I just want to die. Why did I befriend this person. she doesn't give a shit about me. She just wants me around because I listen. That's it. I wish I had never replied to her message. I wished I had stayed away from her. I wished I hadn't met her.

I'm alone. My heart hurts. I don't know what to do. I know I should do my work, my assignments at least. Read up catch up but I don't know it feels useless. I feel so empty. So alone. can someone, anyone. say hi to me, can I say hi back to you? Can we be friends supportive of each other? I need someone, I'm so weak. I don't know what to do. The only supporter in my life has been gone since I was 14. My mum. I've continued feeling alone since then and I feel like I'm on my breaking point now.

Someone help me. Someone say something. I haven't talked with anyone in so long. Please say hi. Please say goodbye. Please say something. Please be my close friend. Please let me be yours. I want to help you, I want you to help me. Is anyone out there? Is anyone at all there? Am I going crazy? Maybe. My heart hurts. It just hurts It just hurts and I don't know

Hold my hand hold my heart hold my something. Someone support me please I'll support you back just don't hold a grudge on me please forgive me for any mistakes I do I don't mean to harm you if you're offended please don't please don't I feel pathetic.

I love the thought of exploring the world, of learning new languages, of learning how the universe works in general, of building friendships with others but I feel like I'm dying right now from a lack of friends and I feel dead

I feel dead. I feel dead. I need someone to turn to, to talk to, for guidance, help me I feel so alone but there are so many things I want to do I don't want to die, I don't want to be alone, I want to go out and take pictures and record and edit and share them with others I want to do cool things and share my results with others, to discuss future projects I wish I could afford the equipment needed to do these things

I feel so alone please someone talk to me someone help me someone be alive with me