Mom wants me to think I'm damaged, corrupted and useless after abuse at her hands for years, right now she is winning.

Can't really take it anymore.

20 years old; Substance abuse issues, sex addiction, complete abandonment years ago...

Was not allowed to finish high school, sleeping in cars and on couches of shitty people for months and years, desperately fled across the country, currently having complete and total mental breakdown in a hotel trying to piece myself back together.

Realizing I have no innocence left.

never want to consume any kind of pornography ever again, but I feel like my body, mind, cell phone, and existence have been permanently tainted.

I was told, still am told over and over for years how fucking worthless I am. Can't take it anymore.