I [24M] broke up with my ex [23F] 2 years ago, got into another relationship with a [23F], but still have feelings for my ex.

This is going to be relatively long, so... TL;DR: I have been in a happy long distance relationship for the past 10 months, but I have recently developed feelings for my ex and prefer talking to her over my current girlfriend sometimes.

Back in late 2015, my then girlfriend and I had been dating for roughly 4 1/2 years and lived together (Let's call her Susan). The last 6 or so months, however, were mostly spent arguing and complaining, and the last 2-3 were sexless. I contemplated splitting up for around a month or so by myself as I didn't see things getting better. One day I eventually cut things off with Susan late one night after coming home from the gym. She had a rough family situation at the time, so she stayed at my place for about a week to pack her things and move back in with her mother.

After this I ended up dating another girl about a month or so after we broke up who was from China (let's call her Linda). She was a student at a local university, and we got together very well. We eventually split up after about 4 months as she went home, and I did not foresee myself moving to China to continue our relationship. It was fun, and I enjoyed myself with Linda, but it wasn't something that was to be forever.

After this I remained single, but Susan and I started talking a lot more. We have been best friends since middle school, and our friendship lasted even after breaking up, though it was extremely strained and uncomfortable for a few months afterwards. After my breakup with Linda, Susan and I began talking a lot more. She had a boyfriend at this time, who was actually our mutual friend, so very often we would all hang out and see a movie, go to dinner, etc. Susan confessed that while she cares for her new boyfriend a lot, she still misses and loves me. I told her that I just can't do a relationship right now, as I feel I need to focus on my last year of university studies. This type of relationship continued for a while.

Fast forward to more recently, I began learning Italian due to a trip I was planning to take to Italy at the end of my last semester of school as a celebration with my close friends and some family members. I became language partners with a beautiful girl who was also looking to practice her English (Let's call her Diane). Me and Diane came to talk almost every day, and eventually started Skype calling on weekends. We eventually mutually developed feelings for each other, and decided to start a long distance relationship.

I go on my trip to Italy, and meet up with Diane and spend about 2 weeks with her, which were absolutely amazing. I come back home, and about 1-2 months after that, she comes a visits me in the states for another 2 weeks or so. We talk everyday, and share stories all of the time, and my Italian has improved greatly because of her. However, while we do share some, we do not share many interests or hobbies, and a lot of our talk is "lovey dovey" as our relationship is still young.

Now I'm in a predicament, however. Diane and I talked and said that if we want to continue this, she should either move to the states, or I should move to Italy. At first I was completely on board with this. Living in Italy sounded great, or having a foreign girlfriend in the states sounded great. However, I thought about it more, and couldn't handle being separated from my friends and close family, as the two weeks I spent in Italy made me extremely homesick. So I asked if she would be okay with moving to the states. She said she is fine with it, but can't move until the beginning of next year to do work obligations.

At this point, almost all of my efforts were being directed towards Diane, and it had been that way for months now. Just a few weeks ago, I was having a relatively long conversation with Susan, and the topic of Diane came up (she doesn't like Diane, cause she still has feelings for me). She asked if Diane was moving to the states, and I said there is a strong possibility that will be the case. She congratulated me, and told me that I'm lucky and hopes that I can make a good life and family with her. However, from that moment, looking at Susan, she had a look of defeat on her face masked my a smile (This was on Skype by the way as Susan moved about an hour and a half away due to her boyfriend living a few cities away). After this, I started thinking about my past relationship with Susan, and why we broke up. My mother didn't care for her, we were arguing a lot, our sex life died off, and no one was seemingly happy. But after reflecting on it more, I realized a lot of these issues were because of me, and my own wrong doing. I wasn't investing much time or energy into our relationship. I wouldn't pay attention to her simple requests. I felt she would get angry unreasonably quickly, when she was only upset because it was the 3rd, 4th, or 5th time of her asking me. I didn't appreciate her trying out some of my hobbies so we could have more to do together, and I simply hung out with friends or played video games over spending time with her 9/10 times over the last year of our relationship. And after all of that, I broke up with her, even though she begged me for a second chance and blamed herself for our fallout. I treated her coldly after out breakup even though she just wanted me to listen to her, and I lied and said things I probably shouldn't have said.

Looking back on it now, I feel terrible and have apologized to her, but I have this weird feeling growing inside me. I'm starting to feel the emotions and feelings I felt towards her back in the good days of our relationship. Going to fast food joints late at night and ordering off the dollar menu and then driving around our hometown until late at night. Going out to the drive-ins, trying out local restaurants, binge watching TV shows with my father, bringing my little cousins swimming at the beach, playing WoW together (we were both avid players up until Warlords), etc etc. I miss all of these things so much, but I miss doing them with her. I miss the way we would cuddle at nighttime, I miss the feeling of her hand in my hand, I miss her warm smile when she was just happy to see me after a long day of work.

However, I am still dating Diane. And I too have feelings for Diane. Not only that, but I am still very much heavily sexually attracted to Diane (the Romeo and Juliet phase if you will). Diane is planning to come to my hometown and stay at my house for about 2-3 months starting in late January due to accumulated vacation time and quitting her job because she claims it is a dead end. After this, she says she will move to the states later on next year (fall/winter) after she has had time to tell her family and say goodbye to everyone and get a US green card.

I have feelings for Diane, I can say that I love her. I want to introduce her to my family, I want her to experience an American lifestyle, I want her to enjoy herself and have a good time. But when I think about things, and how my future is going to change indefinitely if Diane comes to the states, I start to remember and miss Susan.

Me and Susan planned to get married about 3 years into our relationship, but said we should wait until we have a steady career before we pick up any financial burdens from a wedding. This is relevant because when I imagine marriage, and my future, I still can only seem to imagine it with Susan, and not Diane. While I feel it would be amazing to have a household whose children can speak both Italian and English, sharing and participating in intercultural exchange or whatever you would like to call it, I am still drawn to the image of me and Susan sitting in our rocking chairs at age 80 watching The Price is Right.

I'm torn, because I am not sure if these feelings for Susan are temporary, or even if I can sustain a healthy relationship with her again. I also really care for and love Diane, but the amount of time we have spent in the same room has been maybe a little over a month, and I have so much more in common with Susan than I do with Diane. I feel the closer I get to Diane and the more attached she gets to me, the farther I feel emotionally from her. But I still care and love her deeply. Both of them it seems.

My question to you guys is, what do you think I should do? I feel I need to talk to Diane about this, especially before she puts the financial pressure of spending months in a foreign country on herself. But I'm not sure how to bring it up, especially because she's started saying things such as "I do my best everyday knowing that I will be with you soon my dear" or saying "I've never loved another man as much as I love you". I also know that Susan still has feelings for me, and I am 99.99% sure in time we would probably get back together if that interest was mutual.

I'm sorry for the long post, but if you have made it this far, thank you so much for reading, and I hope to hear from you! <3

TL;DR: I have been in a happy long distance relationship for the past 10 months, but I have recently developed feelings for my ex and prefer talking to her over my current girlfriend sometimes.