23/M/Europe | Searching for a close, genuine friend for the years to come
Hello everyone, let me start off by saying that this will be a rather long post and if you're not looking for a connection of a more genuine/long-lasting kind then i am not for you.
If you're looking for a positive/happy person then i am also not for you, i am not very optimistic and my life is very different from what westernized societies consider to be "normal"/good/worthwhile or whatever you want to call it.
I am looking for a platonic friend, someone who's interested in having a person in their life to whom they can open up to and be honest without having to worry about what they're saying and how they're saying it. In the past i've come to value those kind of relationships, but i've lost my last "real" friend a few weeks ago and i recently realized how much i miss having someone like that in my life.
It's just nice to be able to be honest and blunt and talk about your deepest thoughts, fears and other things you want noone else in your life to know about, topics that are interesting and important to you or maybe you just about your day and casual topics.
When it comes to your character i am not really sure what i am looking for. Further down below i describe myself to some extend and i am not sure if i am looking for someone like me or someone completely different. I've had both kinds of friends so far and i wouldn't say that i prefer any sort of character, so everyone's welcome.
You should be able to deal with, and appreciate, bluntness and a direct approach to conversation, i don't watch my words, never have, and i have no interest in starting to do so. If you are like me in that regard even better, i value people who are able to say what they mean without feeling the need to tailor it to avoid offending someone.
I think it's necessary that our time-zones are somewhat compatible with each other, mine is CEST/CET. Having a 12 hour difference in local time is problematic when you try to form a meaningful friendship, even 6 hours could be difficult depending on our schedules.
Now i'll add some information about myself and i'll try to describe myself as honestly as i can so you can determine if you're interested in getting to know me.
Rather than explaining my beliefs in full [happy to do that later, but there must be some moderation when it comes to the length of this post, even though i am afraid that went out the window long ago at this point...], i'll just write down a few "labels" that roughly apply to me.
I believe in Nihilism, Atheism, Antinatalism, Materialism and i base my beliefs/decisions on logic, science and evidence, or at least i try to. I am also very blunt and direct, i don't like beating around the bush, at least not among friends and people i care about.
Growing up i lived a very privileged life: loving family, upper middle class, friends, a decent education in a secular, western-european country and so forth, i can't think of anything important that i didn't have. My life then took a very different direction(starting at ~17 years of age if i remember correctly) and i became a bad/evil person with time, at least in my own view and every moral code i am aware of, you'll have to be the judge on that yourself.
I think it's probably accurate to accredit this developement to my belief-system. Once you realize that morality is subjective and the only relevant information to consider before you commit a certain act is a) whether or not you are willing to live with the consequences and b) a so to speak "Risk/Reward balance", then the temptation to take the easy route and become ruthless/cruel to have an easy/decadent life is very compelling and hard to pass up on. I made the choice to take the easy route, so i changed accordingly over time.
Nowadays i am cold, underhanded and ruthless or simply indifferent towards people i don't know/care about and rather sad/depressed in general, even though i'd say i enjoy certain aspects of my life, mostly my hobbies and my family. Despite that being the case, i am also looking forward to dying/killing myself and i genuinely want to die, but i am not willing to force grief on the people i care about. I have never intentionally hurt the people i love and i always tried to keep that one line intact, even if it means that i continue on living a at times difficult to endure life. Not the best situation to be in but what can you do, right?
The reason i am being so up front about this part of myself is that i don't come across like that usually. I've had situations before where people who've known me for a while turned away from me once they learned more about that aspect of myself and i think getting that out of they way and letting you know what you're getting into is the best way to approach this. Hopefully you can appreciate it given that it doesn't come easily to me to write about myself to this extend.
All this doesn't mean that i am not fun to be around, in fact i've been told quite the opposite is the case, so i'd appreciate it if you took the time to make up your own mind.
I spend most of my time either at home or taking walks at locations i am unfamiliar with, preferably at evening/night or early in the morning.
Some of my interests are:
- Gaming: Nothing specific at the moment, i am planning to replay Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas sometime, they've always been among my most favourite games. I am also looking forward to the new Life is Strange coming out in 2 weeks, i hope it will be as good or even better than the first game.
- Manga/Anime: I've been watching Naruto and One Piece for years, my all time favorite mangas are Aku no Hana/The Flowers of Evil and Koe no Katachi/A Silent Voice. I've only recently started to read/watch a larger variety of content and would appreciate recommendations.
- Music: I listen to a wide variety of music and i'll try out pretty much every recommendation so listing genres and artists would take quite a while.
- Movies/series/TV: I've watched pretty much every widely known series/movie out there and it's probably my favorite thing to do. Nothing better than ordering some food and binge-watch a series you haven't seen before or rewatch one of your favorite movies, especially on a rainy/snowy day.
- Stand-up comedy: I enjoy the work of Jim Jefferies, Louis CK, George Carlin and especially Bill Burr, offensive/provocative humor and dark humor are my favorite kinds.
- Conversation: I enjoy chatting with/talking to certain people about pretty much everything, but i prefer more serious/deep topics for the most part.
I of course do other things as well, but those are my main occupations. Even though i don't do it very often, i also like to try out new things and try to find new interests.
That should be enough to convey a sense of who i am and what i am looking for. ^ ^
I only use Discord for communication because i prefer the interface, simplicity and functionality compared to other programs. I am not interested in having a conversation on reddit, nor any other platform/program except for Discord.
Contact me using the private message system on reddit and include your Discord tag in your message or i won't respond to you. I also expect you to put some effort into your introduction. I think it's fair to say that i've been very open in this post and asking you to return the favor is a reasonable request.
I would also appreciate if you could just move on from this post without commenting if you're not interesting in getting to know me or leaving some constructive comment. I am really not interested in having arguments about my beliefs or getting told what you think of me, that's not the purpose of this post and i hope you can respect that, thank you.
Anyway, thank you for reading if you lasted this long and i am looking forward to meeting you, till then. :)
Posted Aug 25, 2017, 12:10 PM UTC