Why is this so hard?

I really don't know why unfollowing my ex on Instagram is so hard to do. I've known for a few weeks that I need to do this for my sanity, but I haven't been able to do it yet. Neither of us post much so I've been able to avoid seeing what he is doing. Maybe the finality of the action. Maybe it's because there wasn't fighting at the end, so I don't hate him. But he broke me and I can't know what is going on in his life for a long time. I know that he is taking a trip this weekend I wanted to go on with him so seeing any of that would kill me. But this is hard and I can't keep the small spark of hope I have in my chest alive; I deserve better.