Having real problems keeping my little fetish in check

I have a weird fetish. Only way I can honestly put it. Its really weird. I get aroused when i see a woman dominate a man. I dont want to actually get dominated myself, never ever.

But watching him suffer feels so good inside of me. And im sure I dont want to become a female doing the domination either, I just really enjoy watching it, but I fear this like could damage any potential relationships down the line because of how weird it is.

I have been struggling with nofap on and off for the last 2 years, never really lasting longer than 4 days. My record was 39 days, and I'm on day 6 today. I feel great, my head feels clear and I feel a ridiculous amount of motivation ( studied for the first time since my holiday started in june). But I just had a really close call and im feeling really tense. I feel like there is something wrong with me for my like.

The worst part is i dont feel any physical pleasure when I jack off, just the mental thrill from watching another man suffer. I dont know whether something is wrong with me and honestly it is kind of scary, can you guys help me with how to stay on NoFap and how to keep this weird fetish in check? maybe if I go 90 days it will be gone for good???

Thanks in advance