Four months out: Sunflowers

So I'm writing this to vent because I have yet to tell anyone anything about the abortion and I feel as id though the only support group (person) I was supposed to have through this has really failed me. I had an abortion about four months ago at 13-14 weeks. At the time for personal reasons such as my pending graduation, age, and financial reasons I chose to go through with it. I want to one day be a successful lawyer and be financially independent before I have children. In retrospect, I am a bit bitter over the way my significant other (boyfriend of two years) handled the situation and continues to handle the situation. He provided the finances to pay for abortion as well as went with me to a mandatory counseling session pre abortion and was with me during the abortion. Now the week after the abortion he returned to work which is understandable. He has a high stress/demanding job in finance and has a lot on his plate. That first week even though he seemed to care about my wellbeing he never spoke about the abortion or mentioned it or asked me how I was doing other than if I was in physical pain. I know the abortion went against his morals, but I feel that he handled it very poorly. About three weeks after the abortion I felt this urge one day to buy sunflowers and go lay them down in a park by the ocean. I kindof felt like I needed closure and in a weird way I felt a sort of funeral would help. I know it sounds Weird I guess. To me it helped a lot. I mentioned to him that I would greatly appreciate it if he could accompany me to do that and he bailed. I ended up going alone and he never said anything. Fastforward about a month and his dog got hit by a car. He was so upset and had the dog cremated and her paw prints engraved etc. I can understand why he was so upset he watched it happen from afar and felt like it was fault that his childhood dog had died. I did feel terrible. I have always felt this bitterness and weird resentment that he showed more emotion over his dog dying then the abortion I went through. I know men and women are different but that really stung watching his reaction to the abortion. He just never spoke about it ans I guess suppressed it completely and I think he expects me still to do the same. I cant do that. I chose not to tell any friends or family and for me its been really hard. Four months out and I feel as if though suppressing it has made me extremely bitter. I fight with my boyfriend over everything little things here and there that I honestly feel aren't even bad. I feel as if though I am losing my mind. Its really hard not being able to tell anyone but even harder suppressing it from the only person that is supposed to be there for you. I cant continue to act normal. Recently my sex drive has just completely dipped. Iv never been like that and I feel as if though its my bodies way of showing disdain towards him. I know Im growing further apart because deep down I feel sad and hurt. He recently caught me watching a show on tv about a man who forced a woman to get an abortion and he got really upset me because he felt It was like me blaming him for the abortion. I know he cares I just feel like even though I could never have seen myself go through that situation with anyone else I kindaof hate him for the way he handled it/handles it. Deep down its like all I wanted was for you to acknowledge what happen and lay some sunflowers with me for twenty minutes out of your day and you couldn't even do that for me. Abortions are really traumatic for a woman even if you know the reasons you are doing it for are for the better. I feel as if my pain is isolated in the shadows because no one really ever wants an abortion- its just a solution to a very shitty and sad situation.