Exactly what one expects to happen when a noob challenges a master.

I stand opposite a girl with purple hair tied up in a ponytail, casually holding a two-handed shinai, the Japanese wooden training sword thing, in one hand Because she only has one hand. Mirishima Satoko, kendo club captain. She’s aiming to win tournaments against normal kids who don’t have to deal with wearing glasses. Or missing limbs.

http://i.imgur.com/QabmnYK.png

And because I’m an idiot, I’ve challenged her to a duel. Of course.

Now, it’s not any less one-sided for this, but I DID do some practice in some western styles of swordplay, and a bit of sparring with Artemis as we explore the woods and spin our own little fantasy tales.

This equates to, it takes me a thirty seconds to lose, rather than, in the first attack or two.

“You have a really weird way of getting fit, did I mention that yet?“ she says, the smirk of the first few rounds still present, but definitely smaller this time.

“Only several times a week. Look, I can’t exactly go exploring the woods on my own, now, and this is the only other hobby I had which didn’t involve a sofa or bed.”

“I get that, but this club isn’t messing around, not this year, this is my last year here and we we’re gonna get someone to the finals, at least. That said, last year’s winner stole a couple tricks from westerners, which is why I played this little game. If you’re good enough to last a minute, even once, you can join to play around, because I know my club members will be able to learn something from ya. But, this is your final shot, sorry.... I can’t be allowing myself to fall into any bad habits.”

“Very well, en garde~!”

She sighs, readies her shinai, and I take up one myself.

This time, she’s deliberately chosen a battlefield (she gets to pick because I’m the challenger.) which is disadvantageous to her, we’re not in the dojo, on the flat sparring floor, but rather, in the woods behind the school, my own domain.

Now, the aim of the game is stalling, but I’ve never been very patient. Launching into the offense as soon as she finishes the countdown, I already have a rough idea of how the terrain is laid out and where to find advantages from that.

Unfortunately, the sheer skill I’m up against overwhelms such petty advantages, and she quickly turns me back onto the defensive, even mimicking some of the positions she notices me taking up, quickly negating my advantage almost entirely.

So, I go for my trump card, retreating onto a level section of ground, handing the advantage back to her, or so she thinks, as I slip forward, reverse my grip on the shinai, and bring it up, deflecting hers, continuing the upwards momentum, and bringing it down towards her head…

Bonk

I feel her sword hit me instead, as she deftly sidesteps my strike and brings her own up into the back of my head.

“Hmm… 48 seconds, not bad, but no cake. Tell ya what, because that move at the end there still kinda forced me to make things up on the fly, I’ll give you one final shot sometime.”

“Haaaaaah, thanks” I say, collapsing to the ground, leaning against a nearby tree, grabbing the coke bottle I’d left there and taking a long drink out of it.

“Don’t mention it. This was actually kinda fun.” she says, nonchalantly leaning against a nearby tree, not even phased by this recent duel. Heck, her glasses are still sitting perfectly on her nose, she didn't even need to fix them up.

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OoC: Characters can show up whenever, and if they're not polite enough to wait for the duel to end, that last interaction can be retconned, but I thought I'd tell the whole story for those who are polite enough to wait, so I don't have to repost it a bunch.