Tore up my Gohonzon. Not renewing my publications.

I joined the SGI officially almost a year ago, apprehensive from the beginning. I chanted with a family I met a dinner party before committing to join. I've been to meetings chanted off and on when I could but I can't deny the feeling of hollowness.

I went through this a couple months ago saying that I'm pretty certain that I want to leave but of course I was thrown the typical you need to chant to assure your faith and see the benefits.

And about a year ago I also had some minor health issues.... I was told just to chant about it and it would get better.

I have no doubts that there are good people in the SGI I have met my fair share of them who have treated me well, taken me under their wing and I've even treated me like a son. I'm young 26 years old but I'm not stupid and I'm certainly not impressionable.

I'm not sure who I will remain friends with if I leave, there are a few I certainly wish I could but if it's at the expense at trying to be persuaded to come back to the damn time-wasting meetings... then I see no issue with cutting ties.

I'm not sure what else is next for me, I feel like this entire year has been a waste. The SGI came to me at a period of time when I was down on my luck out of a job just like they do to so many else.

Anyways so just a few minutes ago I shredded up my gohonzon and made the decision that I am not going to renew my Publications that I barely read as it is because of all the fluff.