Source
r/medicine•
docfelt

Couple's match etiquette

I posted this in the medical school subreddit, however I think this is a more appropriate place as it will have more members who have actually gone through the experience.

Anyway: Does anybody have any insight on how we should go about emailing programs regarding interviews for couples match? Both applying to uncompetitive ACGME specialties (FM and GAS), both DO, both competitive for 95%+ of the programs we applied to. I've searched pretty extensively, and most places seem to agree that the person who has not yet received an interview invite from the hospital that has invited their spouse should reach out to the PD of their own specialty and basically ask for an interview. For example: Say my spouse received an interview invite for Family Medicine at the University of Iowa (she hasn't). Should I really email the PD of Iowa's Anesthesia program and say "hey, my spouse is interviewing at Iowa family on 10/15 (made up date). We're couples matching. We have a shared high interest in your institution. Any chance of me interviewing around that time too?" Seems risky af to be honest. I don't want to burn a program for both of us. We've received 5 interviews between the two of us but none are in the same state. We only applied to programs that would put us in a position to be, at the most, one hour away from each other. Any insight/experience? I think I'm being a little too much of a pansy about it. Earliest interview is in like 3 weeks.

Posted Sep 25, 2017, 11:11 PM UTC

107
argininosuccinasebaby catcher•

I am a resident and did not couples match. But most of my co residents who did did reach out and email the programs they were interested in. Or pick up the phone and call the coordinator

I would say that it may be worth mentioning the interview date but I think it is a little much to ask for an interview "around this time". I'm in OB and you take your interviews when you can get them. I honestly do not know of any couples who were successfully able to match up interviews dates (OB or otherwise). I couldn't make my own interviews coordinate location wise.

16
docfeltOPM4•

Thank you for your reply, and you quality flair.

Yeah you're right about the timing comment. All things considered I'd be ecstatic to interview at the same program in general and have no preference or expectations on time. We pulled out extra loans so money wouldn't limit our travels. I'll go to russia if they ask.

I'm struggling with exactly how to word the email. Most things come off either too pushy or seem to be asking for favors. I guess I'll reach out to my school and see if they can lend a hand.

Thanks again for your help.

8
phovendor54PGY-2 IM•

I couples matched, IM and FM. What we did was that the person who got the interview mentioned the other person at the interview. Then the two PDs could talk if they wanted to. This means you don't get to interview at the same time, but it sort of split the difference, not too forward, but still moves the other person's application up for a look. Downside, one person still (possibly) flew or drove out of town and paid for lodging for what would ultimately be a futile interview. So say the program I was going for didn't want me, but it didn't change the fact that my fiancee got her interview and went through with it.

That said, I feel like what you propose is a safe play. In your scenario, I can't imagine Iowa anesthesia calling Iowa FM program and saying rescind that interview, we don't like the other couple candidate she's wasting her time. She goes to the interview and if it turns out they really like her, that PD just might call up the other PD and say, please re-examine the spouse as a candidate. Just maybe.

9
docfeltOPM4•

Thank you for your reply.

My only reservation about bringing it up at interviews is one that might be borderline too late. Some of our interviews are late December already.

Secondly, as you mentioned, if they notify us sooner rather than later that they're not willing to interview the other party, that saves us a lot of trouble and money as the original interview will be cancelled.

2
vanarnam•

Both of you raise good points. I couldn't couples match because of ophtho's separate match on her part. Ophtho's PD asked derm's PD for an interview for me, got interviewed, but this was an entire year later!

If you're professional I can't see it hurting you and I think it's worth a try.

2
katiespeanutfarmPGY5 Psychiatry, Canada•

I don't think (decent) potential program directors would be insulted or put off by you emailing and expressing interest, so long as you are polite and professional. It may not pan out but I don't think it would hurt. I also think you're overestimating the "riskiness" - if I understand your post correctly, you're interviewing for different specialties, and I really don't think your spouse's potential program director is going to be pissed that you emailed your potential program director to ask for an interview. If you're really stressed about that or there's some nuance of the US application process I'm missing (I'm in Canada), you could always write the emails without specifying your spouse's name.

5
BladeDocMD -- Trauma/General/Critical Care•

I wouldn't add "interview at the same time" but otherwise what is there to lose? You already don't have the interview.

2