Source
r/DnDGreentext•
Mr_Java

"I never roll ones."

Short

Playing pathfinder society for first time at LGS.

Playing pregen human investigator

Party approaches group of " 'grease' extras" trying to kill a guy we need info from

FIGHT

3rd in initiative order, too far away from enemies to melee attack

Decide to throw dagger into melee

Paladin is worried, since he's in the line of fire

"Pfft, I never roll ones!" I assure him, with all the confidence a hardboiled detective ought to have

Roll

Nat. Fucking. 1.

I manage to throw the dagger directly over my shoulder

Monk deflects it

Everything went better than expected

Posted Oct 3, 2017, 3:31 PM UTC

84726
Liesmith424Dire Pumbloom•

If the Monk had caught it, you could've totally pretended that you did that on purpose.

357
Mr_JavaOP•

Yeah. It was a two part DUAL HEAT ATTACK. He was going to use his superior monk strength to throw it for me, since my tiny investigator arms couldn't chuck it with sufficient force.

295
Liesmith424Dire Pumbloom•

Investigator: "MANEUVER SEVEN!"

Monk: "Wha--"

Investigator: <throws dagger at monk>

Monk: "Jesus fuck!"

368
Mr_JavaOP•

Yeah. I stopped throwing daggers after that. I just walked up and sworded people instead.

150
Kythios•

That's one way to sword things out

107
PrivilegeCheckmate•

For some reason I'm picturing you throwing it at Tony Shalhoub.

3
Dirkpytt_thehero•

but was he in Rush style or Beast for this Heat attack prompt?

3
Mr_JavaOP•

Probably rush style, being a monk and all. I guess he had heat saved up from his previous encounter, since this fight had just begun.

5
Dirkpytt_thehero•

how damage would you roll for a wall heat action? might be planning an encounter with a monk that uses them like legendary actions

2
RPGCollector•

This guy I used to game with in college never rolls ones.

It's super helpful when you pre-roll your next roll until you get one you like.

58
trenchknife•

"Gygax's Blue Bolt From Heaven strikes you. How many hit points do you have? ... Now you are at minus nine, comatose, and bleeding fromevery major orifice. Play nice or go home."

46
TutelarSword•

I've played with people like that. Had someone that would just randomly roll until he got 20s, and then would claim he is using deception to make dancing lights look like a god to give orders to peasants. He's one of the many reasons I play correctly now and don't allow crits on things that aren't attacks or saves. But don't worry, he got smited by a group of about a dozen gods as punishment for his lies before that campaign ended.

33
Shumatsuu•

This is why we always did it, say what you're going to do, THEN roll. No rolls made before an announced decision counted.

1
bowieneko•

Reminds me of this scene

25
OrderlyAnarchistBadger Warfare Historian•

gosh I love that movie.

3