Me After You

When we first met
I did not know
that the only meaningful representation of me
would come after you

if I had known...
I would have stayed home
I would have boarded the doors
I would have barricaded the windows

I would have prayed you didn't rip through the walls
Id worked so long to build

if I had known…
I would have failed
I would have tripped, stumbled and fallen all the same

because you could always see through my bullshit
but you were always blinded by my lies

Blinded by the facade
I lived my lie so well I brought it to life

I gave my lie reasons to live

For your happiness
For mine

For the sake of friendship
For more time

So I swallowed my feelings and washed them down with good intentions

Took a shot of “better off this way”
and chased it with a sip of “moving on”

Blacked out and when I woke up

Tasted the memory of love lost
Heard whispers of lessons learned

When I first met you
I didn't know
That there would never be
A me and you
Until I finally learned to put someone else first

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