For the Girls Who Do Not Hide Behind Their Poems

the thing you have to understand
is that jealousy is a bitter thing--
it sweeps you up like jungle vines
and traps you in a frothing ocean
of ice cold loathing and doubt.

i have never had your courage.
i hide myself behind a microphone
and leave all the darkness onstage
abandoned as i retake my seat
and blend back in with the crowd
i have so much effort and medication
and hope into becoming normal.

but you scream your brokenness
from the rooftops of reputation
and i wish with every breath
that my voice carried that far
that i could ache like you
without breaking character.

and if you ever start to believe
i am becoming sick of your scars
that i do not wish you the world
at your chipped-nail fingertips
read this poem and remember
i have been trying to control
the envy taking root.

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