Simple real-life experience that illuminated the root of many of /r/zen's conflicts.

Edit: many == all

I was on the tennis court yesterday teaching my usual group lesson. One of the kids (age 9) had a caffeinated energy bar before the class-- she was straight up off the rails. Literally collapsing to the ground when she made mistakes, screaming at her partners when they made mistakes. Not a cool situation.

Being that my program is not that serious, it's just at a tiny community park, I'm not one to come down too hard on kids when it comes to discipline.

So we took a little break, I talked to her a bit about how things don't always go how you want them to and how you gotta just roll with that as a fact of life. Basic stuff. She cooled off and we got back to the tennis. It was a pretty normal interaction. She's a good kid, just had too much intensity for the situation. No big deal.

One of the parents who was watching commented "are you like a Zen master or something??" to which I replied "no way..." which brings me to the topic of this thread.

To the unread masses, common layperson, everyday citizen, whatever you wanna call them, 'Zen' is assumed to be like a state of being. To these folks Zen is just about being cool, calm, and collected. So they extrapolate that 'cool, calm, collected-ness' out to peace, compassion, empathy, meditation, and all that stuff. So, to these folks, 'Zen Masters' are just people who are super cool, calm, and collected. Just go ask a random person on the street what 'Zen' is and you'll see what I'm talking about. Everyone has their own made-up definition. To the parent spectating my tennis class, I happened to fit into their made-up definition of Zen Master. Does that make me an actual Zen Master? Hell no And right there I think is the source of many of the conflicts and misunderstandings on this subreddit.

People come in here with preconceived definitions about what Zen is and who Zen Masters are without ever having read a word written by a Zen Master. When they get bit on the nose by people who they thought were supposed to be 'cool, calm, collected' it comes as a major shock. I think it's this shock that results panicky aggressive posting that we see here all the time from the usual suspects. People are afraid to let go of their false definitions, they would rather to hold on to what they think rather than what is right in front of their face.

I'm sure plenty of the folks who hang out here regularly, who have been here a little while, know what it's like to have to let go of their misconceptions. It's part of the fun. When I came in here I was throwing around the 'Zen Master' title willy-nilly. I played the 'let's see if I can bite ewk' game. I played the 'I understand Zen and I don't need to read a thing' game. I played the 'I'm enlightened even though I have no clue what enlightenment is' game. I played the 'I can teach these people something' game. All of those games were... wait for it... Not Zen. Worse yet, they were intellectually dishonest and rooted in self-deception. What did it take for me to see through those games? A combination of getting my nose twisted a few times, and actually reading some damn books. I'm not claiming to be completely intellectually integruous (made that word up), and I'm not claiming to be completely honest. But I'm definitely more integruous and honest than I was before I opened up some books and got my nose twisted, so there's a lot to be said for that.

I guess all I'm really saying here with this post is that r/zen conflicts can be broken down pretty simply: Those who read Zen Masters, and those who don't. One side gets to play, the other side gets warned then banned. It's not good vs. evil or right vs. wrong. It's not a matter of subjectivity or authority, it's a matter of being able to tell the difference between the sun and the moon. It's a very simple case of being able to distinguish between a full cup and an empty one. Do you have that basic ability?