19(f) and 20(m) toxic relationship but I don't want to let go

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and half (long distance) now and before that we were best friends for like 6 years. Since September he lives at my place and works while I go to uni. My boyfriend is really unmotivated in life, he complains about how he doesn't do anything and don't have friend (since he came to my place he doesn't know anyone) and gets mad at me for having all these. Even when we were long distance he would throw tantrums about me going to parties when he couldn't, he would be jealous of me having fun while he would be working. The thing is, I know it is wrong and I shouldn't have to deal with that, that's my own life but I always take it upon myself and say it's my fault while it really doesn't. I am a very calm and nice person and I always put him before myself and I kind of realised that our relationship is clearly toxic for so many reasons because of our opposite personalities and I've talked about it with him and he agreed but none of us want to let go because we're so attached to each other. Now it got a little bit better since we live together but a part of me wants to break up still because all he does is play video games (he admitted he doesn't like spending his days doing nothing but he doesn't do anything to change it either) and I wonder a lot "why do I even love him, I don't like his personality and I don't want someone so unmotivated in my life" now that he lives with me because I can see it all myself.

However for some unknown and mysterious reason I am still deeply in love with him and I think about the good times we had together and I really don't want to let go, it's hard being together and I happen to cry a lot but I really don't want to give it up cause he showed me so much new stuff I didn't know about and we did things I never did before etc I don't know what to do... I'm not happy with him, only sometimes. And think of breaking up because I'm tired of taking everything upon myself, but I am still very in love and so attached to him I would never make any move. (I could never not take it upon myself by the way because he gets even madder if I'm mad myself and it would take days for him to comeback to me, he is a very resentful and bitter person)
What should I do? Am I wasting my time ?