7 days in 🙏

Ooooh yaaaaaa baaaaby. I made it a week without smoking! I've been smoking half a pack to a pack for the past two years and it really took a toll on my health and strangely my self esteem.

The health issues are probably really common. I had a hard time breathing, really fast heart beat after smoking, trouble exercising, bad breath, weird foot cramps (i dont know where this one fits in) and stomach pain (i have a sensitive stomach)

The biggest issues though were psychological. I hated my self for smoking. I wasnt a happy smoker if that makes any sense at all. I would be at work and go down to smoke every 30 min to an hour and felt fucking miserable for having no self control. I also hated how it felt like i had no control over my life. I remembering thinking to myself, if i cant even control what i, myself, do to my body, how the hell am i going to live a happy life? And i always thought to myself that im a no-good-low-income-good-for-nothing piece of shit. I was just miserable all around and i completely let go of my health because i thought "whats the point?" I dont know if this is just something i went through but it definitely added to my depression.

I quit last week out of sheer luck and physical illness. I couldnt get up all of Saturday for no reason and slept the entire day. Did not even drink on Friday. Since i slept around 16 something hours, i thought fuck it might as well continue not smoking.

Then i noticed i slowly started feeling better. I felt at peace of just having coffee and laying in my bed as opposed to the horrible feeling of having to go buy cigs and lighters and smoke outside in extreme heat or cold while people passing by gave me dirty looks. All the while hating myself. I swore to myself that I would never force myself to do something that has literally no advantage to me whatsoever. It was literally the most retarded thing a human being can do to oneself. It just makes no sense.

I do have cravings still. Im sure they wont go away because i was addicted to them for so long. But just because i have a passing thought of cigs does not mean im going to subject myself to that hell again. Its like having a passing thought of firing back at your boss or your superior at work. Sure you could. But should you? Probably not.

One worry i do have though is the stomach pain that i have been having + possible weight gain. Ive been having really intense stomach pain + gas for the last week and its uncomfortable. I also have been eating AlLOT. Worried about the food intake. Anyone have any tips? Thanks and good luck to anyone still in the throes of quitting.