Even before I knew I was trans

I remember that when I was 12 or 13, I still lived and "identified" as a girl but I guess I already had dysphoria because i can remember thinking about saving up lots of money for getting top surgery and a hysto when I am older. I also was a little bit jealous of my mom who got a hysto when I was almost 10. I wanted to get the uterus cut out too because that would mean never getting a shark week. But I felt awful for thinking that way because i knew my mom was in pain and probably grieving her organ...

At that time i didn't know I was trans yet.

Can anyone relate?