My best friend just miscarried twins, how can I be a good support?

Question

Mods, please let me know if this is the wrong place for this post. I read the sidebar but still not 100% sure. I am so far out of my depth here and I have no desire to offend or hurt anybody.

My best friend called me about an hour ago to tell me that she had miscarried, and at the same time had found out she was carrying twins. She was about 10 weeks along and had her first ultrasound appointment next week.

My question for you all is, what did you find helpful after loss? All I could think of to say was I’m sorry, I’m so sorry this is happening to you, this isn’t fair, I love you and I’m here. But words seem so useless at a time like this. My daughter is six weeks old so I’m not expecting my friend to come over and visit anytime soon, so I said if she wanted to go out and do something that I was game.

What else can I do? I feel so useless and while I know I can’t take away her pain (though I wish I could) I don’t know if there’s anything I can or should do for her. She doesn’t have a lot of friends and while her family is very supportive, her and the father recently broke up so she’s trying to process the end of her long term relationship as well. Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

Posted Oct 28, 2017, 7:59 AM UTC

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